Howdy Neighbor! I'm a Psycho!

I'm so gonna be famous. The Arrowhead Independent, a small --er, tiny -- local newspaper found out about my starring role (hahah) in the musical "Suds" and they are running a "Meet Your Neighbor" feature about ME! So they emailed me a bunch of questions to answer and asked for a picture.

I would normally be my normal, sarcastic self in answering the questions, but the audience is full of old people snowbirds, so I have to be careful. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna post the answers I would LOVE to give here on this here blog, for your enjoyment. Then I will answer the newspaper with a toned down version.


QUESTIONS FOR Q&A "MEET YOUR NEIGHBOR" PROFILE

Name: Kathryn Anne Cotter Murphy
Age (optional): 24 (hehehehe)
Town/Neighborhood: BFE North Phoenix
What I like most about living here: Well, it's Phoenix . . . so, um . . . lemme think . . . um . . . my husband is here? And my job? er . . . um . . . and Rhonda? I guess those work.
Changes I'd like to see in this area: Please for the LOVE someone figure out how to make the summers LESS HOT! It's just MARCH and I'm DYING here.
What I'm excited about & why: I'm excited about lots of things. My next meal . . . my trip to Vegas on Thursday to see my GIRLIES! My play being over, my new house that is NOT in the Arrowhead area, the meal after the next meal, having Friday off of work . . . I could go on and on.
Favorite community cause & why: Finding a way to get rid of the snow birds in Phoenix. ALL OF THEM and their crappy driving too!
When & why I moved here: My husband is an indecisive person who couldn't decide if he loved me or not so I moved my butt to Phoenix in the MIDDLE of the GOSH DARN BLAZING HOT SUMMER MONTH OF AUGUST to force him to love me and marry me. Don't I sound swell?
Where I lived before & why I left: Happy Valley (aka Provo) Utah. I left for reasons noted above. And I still haven't forgiven him for it.
My family: Crazy doesn't really cover it. I have THIRTEEEEEEN step-siblings, four of whom I've never even met. I don't even know their NAMES for gosh sakes. My mother is Mormon, my father is Catholic . . . you can imagine the religious and cultural debacle THAT is. I have two brothers, both GIANTS (6'2" and 6'3" and built like walls) and a teeny tiny sister (5'3") who are all awesome, but we look as though we all came from different parents. I am as Irish looking as they come, Sean looks Mexican, Meagan looks German and Patrick just looks like a GIANT leprechaun. Seriously it's so weird. No one believes we're related. I have an aunt who left her husband for a woman, an uncle who had multiple wives spread out around the country (no he is not Mormon.) and yet another aunt who is a NUN in Brazil. Does this give you any idea of the insanity that is my family?
What I do: I flail about most days trying to babysit two teenagers who run a company, pretend to know something about Marketing and answering random questions from random people all day long. Oh and turn off the DAMN.BEEPING.PRINTER that lives RIGHT.OUTSIDE.MY.CUBE.
What I like most about what I do: Does blogging count?
Previous occupations & why I left: Cheap shoe salesperson, Car salesperson, Construction Office Manager (do I really need to explain why I left any of these jobs?)
If I had picked a different occupation, it might have been: Space Cowboy! Wait . . . no. That wasn't me . . .
My interests and hobbies: Professional TV watcher, professional eater, professional IMer, professional emailer . . . oh and singing in the car.
The best and/or worst time in my life: Best? Anytime I'm hanging out with my girlies or my husband just doing nothing. Worst time? DATING. ALL OF IT.
My best/worst habits: Like how this question is worded? Best habits? Um . . . I'm really good at checking my blog during the day, I've made a habit of that. I also have a good habit of eating junk food when hungry. I'm really amazingly good at gaining weight. I have a bad habit of . . . gaining weight, eating junk food when hungry, checking my blog ALL.DAY.LONG . . .
The trait(s) I admire in others: I really like a person who is good at complimenting me, telling me how hot and amazing I am. I also like people who don't require compliments back.
People who inspired me (and how): I was always inspired by really flexible people, people who can do weird human tricks, and those Japanese hot dog eaters.
My guiding philosophy: Go to where the good food is.
My advice to today's youths: Today's YOUTHS? Seriously? I need a job at this paper. Um, ok . . . advice . . . Kids, milk your parents for all you can while you still live at home. Someday you have to buy your own groceries. And it sucks.