I Have a New Blog!

My husband told me that I haven't properly advertised le new blog. You can now find me at:

www.walkingkateastrophe.com

Once again (and for the very last time), goodbye Blogger!

I's Growing Up!

I got my own domain! So, as sad as I am to say goodbye to Blogger, I'm MOVING! Come check me out at www.walkingkateastrophe.com!!

Or just click here and I will take you there.

Bear with me while I get used to Wordpress and fix my (lovely) bubble-gum pink template. It might be a rough ride for a while . . . (rumor has it that the template really looks FUN in Explorer. For now, if possible, use Mozilla . . . I promise I'll fix it!)

Thanks to BRILLIG (who is AWESOME) for making all of this happen. I am apparently totally and completely computer illiterate because I've been trying for MONTHS to move my posts over and she did it in like four seconds.

Ciao Bella, Blogger!

Weekend Update

OK you guys rock. Thank you SO MUCH for your advice on music. I am overwhelmed and really enjoying what I've been able to investigate thus far! I've had a request to fill you in on what I've found from your suggestions so I'll give you a list of what I love SO far. I'm still looking into a bunch of it, so if I don't mention something you suggested, it doesn't mean I don't like it! It just means I haven't had time to find it! I have VERY random taste in music (as you will see from this list.) my iPod has everything from rap to Broadway, butt-rock to opera and everything between, so pretty much all of your suggestions have been loved. Or will be as soon as I hear them. OK, the list:

• Mae . . . oh how I love Mae. I bought two albums already and yesterday it was the soundtrack to my housecleaning.
  
• Hem
  
• A Fine Frenzy
  
• Sia
  
• Ingrid Michaelson
  
• Joshua Radin (OH MY GOSH he is AMAZING)
  
• Vampire Weekend
  
• Hooverphonic
  
• Blue Man Group (who knew they had an album? Not me!)
  
• HelloGoodbye
  
• The Last Goodnight
  

Some of these bands I already knew but re-discovered thanks to your suggestions AND I have about a million more to research! I'm so excited! You guys are fab! I feel like a new person with all these new tunes to listen to!

Not to change the subject but I had to apologize that my SOS was only four paragraphs. I know you guys are ready to kill me but I HAD to end there because the next part would have made it the longest post in history! I promise I'll give you more next week. This story is taking FOREVER but I can't leave parts of it out or else it won't be a juicy!

In other news, I had a great weekend. I went to "Definitely, Maybe" with my girl Rhonda on Friday and then we had an old fashioned sleepover at her casa. We played Dr. Mario and chatted until the wee hours of the morning. (For the record, I suck at Dr. Mario and got totally WORKED.) Saturday morning I made a long overdue visit to the LDS Temple in Mesa and then went to play practice for "Hello, Dolly!" which I'm currently in. To be honest, the practice was a total waste of two hours for me because they didn't need me, but whatever.

Saturday night was a little more . . . action packed. I spent some time with some great friends playing Wii and driving their new Porsche Cayman S (OH.MY.GOSH it is the MOST.AWESOME.CAR.). In typical Kate fashion, I almost got myself pulled over for peeling out of an intersection. I was PLANNING to haul butt and get to about 100 mph in 1.2 seconds or so, but my co-pilot (and owner of the car) screamed "COP!" as I was at about 37mph and SOMEHOW I was able to NOT go above the 40 mph speed limit. The cop followed me for several miles and eventually gave up because I acted like I was just learning how to drive a stick. Hahaha. It was hilarious and nerve racking all at the same time. I'm glad I got away. Especially because about five seconds before we saw the cop, I had been doing about 90mph in a 35mph zone. LEST you fear, I was in a very empty, non-crowded area where only I would have been harmed had I done something stupid. It would have been worth getting a ticket. Seriously.

Sunday I cleaned my kitchen until it sparkled and got some other much needed things done around the house. Matt and his brother went to the sand dunes with their quads (ATVs, four wheelers) and as much as I missed Matt, it was kind of nice to have the house to myself. It was also nice to have him come home and kiss him on his cute, scruffy, post-camping, sunburned face.

We watched (and loved) the Academy Awards (um, could Helen Mirren look more amazing? My goal is to look like that when I'm her age. I should maybe start by trying to look like that NOW.) and then we watched what might go down as the funniest comedy sketch I've ever seen. It was Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck (mocking Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon.) I can't access YouTube from work, but take my advice and go check both videos out. They're a bit on the dirty side (ok a lot) so if you're pure and clean (ahem, unlike me) you will probably not like them. Or me. Right. If you're dirty and have the mind of a twelve year old boy (ahem, like me) you will probably love them.

OK. I'm off to work. I still have that huge project looming and my brain is hurting just thinking about it.

Kisses!

Soap Opera Sunday: Digging Out

Ahhh Soap Opera Sunday. Thanks so much to Abish for hosting this week! Want to know more about SOS? Click here for a description and rules! Brillig and I would love to have you play along if you've got any Soapy tales you'd like to share!

My story is a very long one, so if you need to play catch up, you'll need an hour and the following links:

here

here

here

here

here

here

here

here
and here.

Ready for more??
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I should have seen it coming. I should have listened to all the stories about how many times he got together and broke up with the mother of his son (even when she was ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE!). I should have listened to stories of all the other girlfriends he'd had and how it was impossible for him to commit and be faithful. I thought I was different. I thought we were meant to be.

The fact that it was TIFFANY’s voice on that message made it all the harder because I had decided to hate her with all my soul already. Had it been another girl it would have sucked, but thinking that he chose Tiffany over me made me want to run both of them over with my car.

I can’t remember the exact conversation I had with Richard, but I remember asking him if he was, in fact, going to marry her. He said something along the cop-out lines of she sort of thought so and he was going along with it. I told him not to call me anymore. He didn’t even apologize.

I lost another 10-15 pounds in just a few weeks. I would wake up every morning and for a brief second, I’d be happy to face my day, and then the reality of what had happened to me would backhand me in the face and I’d start crying all over again. The depression of the previous break-up was nothing compared to this. I’d let myself hope again and the result had been even worse for me. I was depressed. I didn’t know who I was. My normal, bubbly personality was gone. I was quiet, resigned, anorexic looking and went about my days like a robot performing it’s programmed tasks. It got to the point that my Mom suggested I get a prescription for an anti-depressant. I was hesitant because I didn’t want to walk around medicated, but I knew I had to do something. I was absolutely miserable. So I went to a doctor and got me some pills.

Within two days, the clouds parted and the sunshine seemed to appear again. I started to feel HUMAN again. I was able to eat, smile, laugh and find joy in my life. I was a senior in college, halfway through my FINAL semester and I was finally back to being excited to graduate, to finish school and possibly go to New York and audition for Broadway or find whatever path my life needed to be on. I was finally excited to be alive again. And naturally, in my life, when you felt normal, you wanted BOYS. So, I went looking and in no time at all, I met a boy named Matt.

To be continued . . .

Entertain Me

I used to be the girl who discovered new music artists before anyone had heard of them. I found Evanescence before they had the song on that one movie. (Great information from me, right?) I used to scour the internet for new songs, new artists, unusual music . . . now, I'm incredibly lame. I barely make it past iTunes Top 10. IF I'm lucky.

I have a new assignment at work that's going to take a very long time and some intense concentration (and hi, I'm ADD head, have you met me?), so I need to stick my new SkullCandy headphones in and listen to music and zone out of the world of my cubicle and get into research mode. The only problem is that, while i have over 8,000 songs on my iTunes, I'm sick of all of them and instead of zoning out, I spend all my time skipping songs I'm no longer interested in hearing.

All that leads me to my post title. I NEED NEW MUSIC! So I'm begging you to recommend your favorite obscure song, new artist, ANYTHING. I so badly need new music. HELP!

(And let's not let this be like last time when I asked for links and only two of you sent help. I know you guys have it in you!)

Ready? GO!

Soap Opera Sunday: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I'm finally back! Sorry about the pause there. Dontcha hate it when life gets in the way? Especially of BLOGGING. Sheesh. Thanks and kisses to Brilly for hosting this week. If you want to learn more about the rules and fun behind Soap Opera Sunday, you can go here for more details. For the record, I am a bad co-host and Brillig rules.

I am deep (DEEP)into the saga of my life so if you need to catch up you can go

here

here

here

here

here

here

here

and finally here

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After Richard's message, I turned into one of THOSE girls. The weak, sniveling, lame girl who lets a guy get away with murder as long as he apologizes and says he'll try to be better. Except I was worse. I didn't make Richard apologize, I didn't call him out on how horrible he'd been -- none of it. I simply tried to make things go back to how they'd been before New York.

Shockingly, things never went back. I was making all the effort. I was driving to Salt Lake two or three times a week to see him and he stopped coming down to Provo. I was arranging dates and showing up to support him at his numerous sporting events. I was being SO stupid.

The one thing he actually did was call me every night before he went to bed and I think that kept me hanging on. No matter how late he got in, he'd call. If I'd just left his house, he'd call. Those late night conversations were (and in memory continue to be) the best part about our relationship. No pretenses, no acting cool in front of others, just talking about our days, our plans . . . everything. But as any dumb idiot (except me) could see, late night phone calls were not enough, yet I tried and tried to make them be. I was hanging on by a thread.

For Valentine's Day that year I got him a small present and planned a night for us to go out to dinner. I called him after I got off of work to arrange to meet and he didn't answer. He didn't call me back for four hours. We'd obviously missed our reservation and couldn't do anything. He'd been playing basketball at the church and thought that was much more important. I was already in Salt Lake so I went to his house to give him his present, holding my breath thinking he might have purchased something for me. Nope. Nothing. I handed him his present and said "Happy Valentine's Day!"

He looked at me frowning and said "I didn't think we were Valentine's Kate."

That should have been my que to run away, right? Slap him in the face and get out. No, of course not. That, in my head, was my que to try HARDER. Go to his sports events MORE often. Get him more little presents. I had to give it my ALL to show him how awesome I was!

This was the year that Salt Lake City was hosting the Olympics, so I had a week off of school to attend the festivities, so I was in Salt Lake a lot more. Richard and I met up a few times to go to the tents set up downtown to hang out and had a good time. The night of the closing ceremonies we had talked about meeting up to go watch the fireworks, so I arrived at his house with coats, hot chocolate and blankets. He had, of course, decided he didn't want to go anymore and that we should watch on TV. Desperate once again to spend time with him, I agreed.

We watched the show and it was great, though through the window I could hear the booming of the fireworks that we should have been OUTSIDE watching. Then we made out. Because, well, why not? I remember Richard's phone was ringing quite a bit throughout the night, but he ignored it since I was there (a step in the right direction maybe??). After the show was over, we were sitting next to each other on the couch and Richard made what would be a fatal mistake. He went to check his voicemail and while typing his passcode, said it out loud.

I immediately started chewing my lip, wishing I could forget what had just happened. I knew myself and I knew that I would NEVER EVER be able to resist using that passcode when we weren't together. I was far too nosy for my own good.

I lasted about three days before the itching inside took over. I will never forgt the first time I used that passcode to check his messages. I was sitting in my office at work with the door shut so no one would bother me. I picked up the phone, dialed his number, waited for his voicemail to pick up, pushed pound and then nervously dialled the four digit code. SUCCESS! I was in! He had no new messages and one saved message. Ha. Press 1 to hear saved messages. I was so going to listen to whatever it was.

What I heard was NOT what I expected. A female voice "Hi Richard! It's Tiff! Why aren't you picking up your phone? Why are you ingonring your fiance? I just wanted to tell you how excited I am to be your wife. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I was watching the fireworks of the closing ceremonies tonight and thinking about how much better it would have been to be watching with you. Hope you had a good night. Love you"

I started shaking and dropped the phone. My vision suddenly blurred and I felt faint. I put my head between my knees in an attempt not to pass out and stayed there with tears streaming down my face. As soon as I had gained some sort of composure I told my boss I needed to leave for the day and I drove home sobbing hysterically. Somewhere in there I called my best friend Sheila who raced over to my house to be with me so I wasn't alone and she held me for hours while I cried, and cried, and cried.

Don't be shocked by what I'm about to say . . .

To Be Continued . . .

**Disclaimer: Stupid Blogger turned off their spell check, so please forgive any spelling errors. I didn't know until right now it was turned off and I don't have Word on this computer. From now on I promise to spell check and all that stuff. PROMISE.

I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy

Today is the day of lurve. Oooh ahhh. Valentine's Day. The day in my previous life as a single girl that typically meant depression and consumption of much chocolate. I was usually alone, abandoned by the most recent "fling" shortly before the holiday.

I was always a hopeless romantic, dreaming of the Valentine's Day when my Don Juan would arrive to pick me up in a horse drawn carriage to take me out for a night of passion and romance. I wished for thousands of roses and candlelit dinners and everything that "they" (whoever they are) tell you Valentine's Day is supposed to contain.

I should have dreamed bigger. I should have been dreaming who would put me first, every single day. I should have been hoping for the safe feeling of always being taken care of. I should have imagined years of laughter and fun and tender, amazing true love. Oh, and some serious passion too.

Maybe it's good that I didn't dream bigger because it allowed me to be completely swept away by the man who gave me everything I was dreaming of, plus everything I should have been dreaming of and more.

Sure, I'm still a girl and a hopeless romantic who wishes my life had a little more "show" but when I really stop to think about it, you couldn't pay me enough money or give me enough "packaged romance" to convince me that what I have isn't the most amazing gift I've ever been given. I consider myself the luckiest woman alive to have the privilege to be married to Matt. He is my everything and on Valentine's Day, I just wanted the world to know it. He is my Don Juan . . . but better.