Soap Opera Sunday: Digging Out

Ahhh Soap Opera Sunday. Thanks so much to Abish for hosting this week! Want to know more about SOS? Click here for a description and rules! Brillig and I would love to have you play along if you've got any Soapy tales you'd like to share!

My story is a very long one, so if you need to play catch up, you'll need an hour and the following links:

here

here

here

here

here

here

here

here
and here.

Ready for more??
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I should have seen it coming. I should have listened to all the stories about how many times he got together and broke up with the mother of his son (even when she was ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE!). I should have listened to stories of all the other girlfriends he'd had and how it was impossible for him to commit and be faithful. I thought I was different. I thought we were meant to be.

The fact that it was TIFFANY’s voice on that message made it all the harder because I had decided to hate her with all my soul already. Had it been another girl it would have sucked, but thinking that he chose Tiffany over me made me want to run both of them over with my car.

I can’t remember the exact conversation I had with Richard, but I remember asking him if he was, in fact, going to marry her. He said something along the cop-out lines of she sort of thought so and he was going along with it. I told him not to call me anymore. He didn’t even apologize.

I lost another 10-15 pounds in just a few weeks. I would wake up every morning and for a brief second, I’d be happy to face my day, and then the reality of what had happened to me would backhand me in the face and I’d start crying all over again. The depression of the previous break-up was nothing compared to this. I’d let myself hope again and the result had been even worse for me. I was depressed. I didn’t know who I was. My normal, bubbly personality was gone. I was quiet, resigned, anorexic looking and went about my days like a robot performing it’s programmed tasks. It got to the point that my Mom suggested I get a prescription for an anti-depressant. I was hesitant because I didn’t want to walk around medicated, but I knew I had to do something. I was absolutely miserable. So I went to a doctor and got me some pills.

Within two days, the clouds parted and the sunshine seemed to appear again. I started to feel HUMAN again. I was able to eat, smile, laugh and find joy in my life. I was a senior in college, halfway through my FINAL semester and I was finally back to being excited to graduate, to finish school and possibly go to New York and audition for Broadway or find whatever path my life needed to be on. I was finally excited to be alive again. And naturally, in my life, when you felt normal, you wanted BOYS. So, I went looking and in no time at all, I met a boy named Matt.

To be continued . . .

Soap Opera Sunday: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I'm finally back! Sorry about the pause there. Dontcha hate it when life gets in the way? Especially of BLOGGING. Sheesh. Thanks and kisses to Brilly for hosting this week. If you want to learn more about the rules and fun behind Soap Opera Sunday, you can go here for more details. For the record, I am a bad co-host and Brillig rules.

I am deep (DEEP)into the saga of my life so if you need to catch up you can go

here

here

here

here

here

here

here

and finally here

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After Richard's message, I turned into one of THOSE girls. The weak, sniveling, lame girl who lets a guy get away with murder as long as he apologizes and says he'll try to be better. Except I was worse. I didn't make Richard apologize, I didn't call him out on how horrible he'd been -- none of it. I simply tried to make things go back to how they'd been before New York.

Shockingly, things never went back. I was making all the effort. I was driving to Salt Lake two or three times a week to see him and he stopped coming down to Provo. I was arranging dates and showing up to support him at his numerous sporting events. I was being SO stupid.

The one thing he actually did was call me every night before he went to bed and I think that kept me hanging on. No matter how late he got in, he'd call. If I'd just left his house, he'd call. Those late night conversations were (and in memory continue to be) the best part about our relationship. No pretenses, no acting cool in front of others, just talking about our days, our plans . . . everything. But as any dumb idiot (except me) could see, late night phone calls were not enough, yet I tried and tried to make them be. I was hanging on by a thread.

For Valentine's Day that year I got him a small present and planned a night for us to go out to dinner. I called him after I got off of work to arrange to meet and he didn't answer. He didn't call me back for four hours. We'd obviously missed our reservation and couldn't do anything. He'd been playing basketball at the church and thought that was much more important. I was already in Salt Lake so I went to his house to give him his present, holding my breath thinking he might have purchased something for me. Nope. Nothing. I handed him his present and said "Happy Valentine's Day!"

He looked at me frowning and said "I didn't think we were Valentine's Kate."

That should have been my que to run away, right? Slap him in the face and get out. No, of course not. That, in my head, was my que to try HARDER. Go to his sports events MORE often. Get him more little presents. I had to give it my ALL to show him how awesome I was!

This was the year that Salt Lake City was hosting the Olympics, so I had a week off of school to attend the festivities, so I was in Salt Lake a lot more. Richard and I met up a few times to go to the tents set up downtown to hang out and had a good time. The night of the closing ceremonies we had talked about meeting up to go watch the fireworks, so I arrived at his house with coats, hot chocolate and blankets. He had, of course, decided he didn't want to go anymore and that we should watch on TV. Desperate once again to spend time with him, I agreed.

We watched the show and it was great, though through the window I could hear the booming of the fireworks that we should have been OUTSIDE watching. Then we made out. Because, well, why not? I remember Richard's phone was ringing quite a bit throughout the night, but he ignored it since I was there (a step in the right direction maybe??). After the show was over, we were sitting next to each other on the couch and Richard made what would be a fatal mistake. He went to check his voicemail and while typing his passcode, said it out loud.

I immediately started chewing my lip, wishing I could forget what had just happened. I knew myself and I knew that I would NEVER EVER be able to resist using that passcode when we weren't together. I was far too nosy for my own good.

I lasted about three days before the itching inside took over. I will never forgt the first time I used that passcode to check his messages. I was sitting in my office at work with the door shut so no one would bother me. I picked up the phone, dialed his number, waited for his voicemail to pick up, pushed pound and then nervously dialled the four digit code. SUCCESS! I was in! He had no new messages and one saved message. Ha. Press 1 to hear saved messages. I was so going to listen to whatever it was.

What I heard was NOT what I expected. A female voice "Hi Richard! It's Tiff! Why aren't you picking up your phone? Why are you ingonring your fiance? I just wanted to tell you how excited I am to be your wife. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I was watching the fireworks of the closing ceremonies tonight and thinking about how much better it would have been to be watching with you. Hope you had a good night. Love you"

I started shaking and dropped the phone. My vision suddenly blurred and I felt faint. I put my head between my knees in an attempt not to pass out and stayed there with tears streaming down my face. As soon as I had gained some sort of composure I told my boss I needed to leave for the day and I drove home sobbing hysterically. Somewhere in there I called my best friend Sheila who raced over to my house to be with me so I wasn't alone and she held me for hours while I cried, and cried, and cried.

Don't be shocked by what I'm about to say . . .

To Be Continued . . .

**Disclaimer: Stupid Blogger turned off their spell check, so please forgive any spelling errors. I didn't know until right now it was turned off and I don't have Word on this computer. From now on I promise to spell check and all that stuff. PROMISE.

Soap Opera Sunday: How to Lose a Dress Size in Ten Days (or less)

Welcome back to Soap Opera Sunday! Thanks to Shellie of Little But Loud for hosting this week! We love, love , love you guys for hosting for us! For the details and rules of SOS, check out this post!


Now, my story has been going for quite a while now, so if you need to catch up (prepare yourselves) you need to go
here
here
here
here
here
here
then finally here for the whole story.

PHEW. All caught up? Ok let's continue . . .
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Pretty much the rest of the trip to New York sucked for me. I won't go into the gory details, but as you can tell, Richard spent a lot of time on the phone, presumably with SHE who shall not be named (at this moment at least!), a lot more time watching sports and ignoring me. I spent a lot of time trying not to cry as I lost the boy I thought was my future.

On the plane ride home we talked and I tried to calmly beg him to give me another chance. He was having none of it. It was too fast (UM who's fault was THAT?), it was too much, he wasn't ready, blah blah blah.

His family was at the airport to pick him up when we landed. We waved good-bye and I hopped in the car with Rhonda and her boyfriend (who had picked us up) and held in my tears until I walked in the door of my house.

Then the gates of hell were opened. Right in our front entry, I dropped my suitcase, fell into a massive heap on the floor and started to sob. I had never in my life, despite being dumped more times than I care to count, felt this kind of emptiness and despair. I felt hollow and broken. I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't speak and there were no more tears. I fell asleep sobbing and woke up every hour through the night and began sobbing again.

I couldn't get out of bed the next morning. My Mom had to drag me from under the covers and force me into the shower. It was my first day of my final semester in college and there was no way I could miss it. My usual half and hour morning routine took me two hours. My skin was ashen, my eyes were lifeless and my hair was limp.

I went to school but I wasn't there. I went to work but I wasn't there either. I don't know where I was. I was like a robot, going from place to place with no real concept of what was going on around me.

Adrienne was furious when I told her what had happened. She too had thought Richard and I were meant to be together. She had known Richard since the beginning of high school and couldn't believe he would treat anyone the way I had been treated the last week.

My other friends, who already hated Richard, I'm sure had to bite their tongues to hold back the "told you so" and they were so wonderful. They were with me every day, trying to make sure I was eating and functioning.

Within four days all of my clothes were too big. My already skinny body began to look emaciated and hollows began to form around my once shining eyes. I was in a deep dark depression and felt like I was never going to get out.

Then, exactly one week from the day we returned from New York I got a message from Richard on my cell phone.

"Hey bud! I miss you! Where have you been and why haven't you been calling me? I still owe you a romantic birthday dinner, just the two of us. Call me back and we'll make plans. Wherever you want, whatever you want. Seriously, I miss you. Call me back."

Soap Opera Sunday: The beginning of the bad that lasts a VERY long time

So, um, I'm sort of lazy and pretty much a cheapskate. They didn't have wireless internet at my sister's house and I was having way too much fun to blog (gasp! I know!) and then wireless wasn't free at the airport. Sooooo, you're getting an incredibly late version of Soap Opera Sunday. Again. But at least on Sunday this time, right?

To catch up on my super long saga, you can go here, here, here, here, here and here. And don't even worry, we haven't even covered the first month of Richard's and my relationship yet!

Well, last week when we left off I had just been dumped on my birthday and Richard was being a douche AND we were on our way to my scary Dad's house.

I rented the car and we headed out to drive the two-ish hours to Lancaster, PA. Since the car was in my name, Richard wasn't supposed to drive it, I had to drive the whole time, and like the kind ex-boyfriend he was turning out to be, he slept the whole time. Oh and I got HORRIBLY lost. So our two hour drive turned into a four hour drive and I had no companion the entire time because he was snoring. Stellar.

When we arrived, my Dad was cooking dinner and before even saying hi he turns from the stove and shouts "Hey honey! Happy Birthday! Did you get drunk?"

"No Dad. Still Mormon. Still no drinking."

"Well did you get laid?"

"Nope. Still Mormon. Still no sex."

"What a f***ing waste of time!"

"Uhhh, Dad, this is Richard. Richard, my father in all his glory."

Things just went downhill from there (just when you think it can't get worse, right?). My stepmother wasn't home yet and Dad just set out to grill Richard. Why didn't he see his son? Was he going to church? Why didn't he go to church? Didn't he know that the girl he was dating took church very seriously? It went on and on and on and was making both Richard and I very uncomfortable. Especially considering our extremely recent break-up that I hadn't told anyone about yet.

Yikes.

We had an awkward family dinner and went downstairs to watch football, which was turning out to be the only thing Richard wanted to do. He, of course, left the room to talk on the phone several times, but we spent the rest of the day watching all the games. I was pretty tired and headed to bed, asking him to come talk to me for a while. I was going to get to the bottom of the recent dumping and find out what the crap was going on.

Our conversation was actually going really well until at some point in the conversation I asked him a question about his family. I don't remember what his response was exactly, but I remember he looked at me and called me Tiffany.

Tiffany was the Ex. The really recent Ex who I had just found out apparently had a problem with Richard and I being set up. The Ex who had sought out Adrienne (who had set us up) and asked her why she thought it was OK to set up HER boyfriend Richard with someone else. The boyfriend she had dumped. The Ex I already hated for trying to force Richard into going back to church before he was ready and who just seemed lame and pushy all the way around. And now he was apparently mistaking me for her. Then, within about fifteen minutes, he called me Tiff four or five times.

My feelings were very hurt. Once I could understand but FIVE TIMES? I was sort of at the end of my rope. With tears streaming down my face I asked him to leave the room and let me go to bed. We had a long drive back to New York the next day and were going to see The Lion King the next night. I needed to sleep and be away from him for a while.

The drive back sucked. We hardly said a word to each other and he made it very, very clear that he was mad that we were going to a musical when he just wanted to watch the College Football National Championship on TV. Too bad, said me, we had tickets and we were going. Final word on the issue.

Before the show, we were shopping near Rockefellar Plaza, I believe in the Banana Republic. I was across the room from Richard and he was on the phone with someone . . . and I had a feeling it was a girl because of the way he was talking. In my gut I knew who it was . . . I just KNEW, but I was hoping I was wrong.

Then, he did the most horrible, mean, stupid thing a guy has ever done to me.

He shouts, across the room "Hey Kate! What's your last name? Tiff wants to know, I guess she had a cousin who went to high school with you."

A. He didn't even remember MY LAST NAME
B. TIFF?????? ON THE PHONE WITH HIM? WHILE WE WERE ON VACATION IN NEW YORK TOGETHER??
C. Bastard

Ever notice how when the guy you like has some sort of "thing" with another girl you stupidly decide to hate the girl rather than the retard you're dating? Yeah, I did that. At that moment I decided I hated Tiffany with every last fiber of my being. HATED. HER. And would continue to do so for the next two years of my life.

That's right folks, you heard me. TWO. YEARS.

Told you this saga lasts forever.

Another reason why I suck

So check me and my crappy weekend out.

Saturday morning, I woke up energized and happy. I went and worked out, got some stuff done around the house and then went to the mall with Matt. At the mall I started coughing up crap out of NOWHERE. Then, as the day moved on, I deteriorated and by the end of the night I was curled up in a miserable ball of achy, feverish chills and have remained that way ever since.

That's why I didn't write part 800 of my Soap Opera and I'm SO sorry. Dragging my butt upstairs to write this was about all the energy I had in me. Oh and I leave tomorrow morning for Orlando. I'm so excited. See my excited face. Nope, dreading the flight. HOWEVER, I am upgraded to first class, so at least I'll be miserable in some sort of comfort on the plane.

I owe you guys a SOS post, so I promise to write it this week from my hotel room and not make you wait until Sunday. Deal?

OK off to bed with me. Kisses!

Soap Opera Sunday!

Hola. Welcome back to Soap Opera Sunday. Brilly-pooh and I decided it was my turn to host this week and I'm SUPER excited?? My story won't be up for a little while but I wanted to make sure you guys could start entering your names in the Mr. Linky for your stories!

I have quite a few new readers (HI! Love you guys!) so if you're confused and wonder what the crap Soap Opera Sunday is, go here to find the details and the rules! The more the merrier! We love hearing all your soapy tales! Make sure to leave a comment after your link and go read the stories! They are always SO great!

We also have an anonymous blog for Soap Opera Sunday just in case you want to share a story that you're not as comfortable sharing on your own blog!




While I work on writing the NEXT part of my saga, you can catch up on the drama
here
here
here
here
aaaand here

All caught up? Good. Now you have to wait for the next part, but not much longer!!!

Soap Opera Sunday: Too Good To Be True?

Welcome back sud lovers! Also, welcome any new peeps to Soap Opera Sunday! This week, Brillig is, once again, hosting our tales of soapiness. If you want to play along, or if you're just curious as to what the crap Soap Opera Sunday is, read all about it here.

This story is a multi-part saga, and to those of you wondering, yes every word of it is true. To catch up on the biggest drama of my life, you can go here, here, here and here. In that order.

Ok, on with the show!

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After the random proposal (if you can call it that) I tried desperately to "keep my cool."

I calmly said "Well, if we get to that point, we should really get married where our families are. I mean it's stupid to require all those people to go as far as New York if there's just the two of us there. "

Inside, it was more like "OH MY GOSH THE MAN OF MY DREAMS JUST ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM! Wait, he hasn't even said "I love you yet." Wait, and we're still not kissing again and . . . and . . . and . . . " And yet, despite the doubt creeping in, I fell even more in love with him.

Christmas was drawing nigh, and I had the perfect present for him. I'd found hard to get tickets to a Laker's game in LA and bought the two of us plane tickets then added a whole Laker's warm-up outfit for him. I was so excited to give him his present and couldn't wait to see what thoughtful gift he'd purchased for me. I was imagining a romantic night with just the two of us having dinner and exchanging our gifts and, due to his earlier outburst about a wedding, I thought MAYBE some talks of our future together.

I was spending Christmas with Adrienne's family (she had been the one to set Richard and I up, if you remember) because my family was in California and also because my best friend Rhonda and I were leaving for New York City the day after Christmas. What I thought was the best part was that and Richard had unexpectedly decided to join us there a few days later! I was so excited to be with him in my favorite city in the US. Neither he or Rhonda had ever been and I had so many fun things planned. I would be turning 21 while we were there and was absolutely thrilled.

So, Christmas Eve, the romantic gift exchange didn't exactly go as planned. Richard came over to Adrienne's house and we sort of casually exchanged gifts. He loved his gift and mine was a beautiful white sweater coat. The only problem was, Richard hadn't picked it out. Adrienne had actually purchased it for me and then decided to get me something else and planned to take it back. Richard found out about it and bought it from Adrienne. So my gift WAS thoughtful . . .just not HIS thoughts. I didn't let it bother me too much, I understand girls are hard to shop for. We had a good time together that night anyway.

Christmas Day I ran around Salt Lake with Kyle and Adrienne and their families, and then spent the evening helping Richard put together his new stereo and TV system, then giddily drove home to pack for my amazing vacation to New York.

What I didn't realize at the time, was that I was in for what I can say with confidence was the worst week of my entire life.

Sorry to leave you hanging again, but I have to end it there so I don't get 8,000 words into it and have to leave! Tune in next week for the gory details!

Soap Opera Sunday . . . The Big Deal That Really Wasn't

Hello my SOS peeps! Thanks for coming back despite my cliffhanger that went unanswered forEVER.

Lovely Brillig is hosting SOS this week, so if you don't know what it is, want to play along, or want a list of more awesome Soap Operas, head on over to her place where you'll find all that fun stuff.

Here are links to the beginnings of my saga so you can catch up if you've forgetted what's going on.
We met
We made out
We had our first big of drama

SO, now we continue.

After Richard said I would probably hate him for what he was about to tell me, I braced myself. All sort of things were going through my head . . . married, family hated me, gay, thought I smelled bad and couldn't be around me again . . . it's amazing how many bad things one can come up with in .5 seconds when faced with very bad news.

"I doubt I'll hate you, Richard. You can tell me anything. I'm sure it's not that big of a deal." My voice was all shaky and squeaky, but I got it out.

"Well" he sighed, "I have a son. He's six right now, and if you do the math, that means that he was born the summer after I graduated from high school when I was only 18. I got my girlfriend pregnant during our senior year."

I felt bad but I almost wanted to laugh. THIS was the horrible thing that was going to make me hate him? Granted, we did live in a state that was something like 99% LDS (Mormon) and having sex AND a baby out of wedlock was very taboo, but I wasn't really the judgmental type who wasn't going to date a guy because he'd messed up in his past.

"Richard, I wouldn't hate you for that! I'm sorry you were so nervous to tell me! I want to know all about him! What's his name? Where does he live? Do you see him? What's his Mom's name?" I had a million questions and I, of course, was dying to meet his son.

As my questions were answered one by one, I realized a little more why he was nervous to tell me. He hadn't seen his son in almost two years, despite their living less than twenty minutes apart. The mother was remarried and wanted her new husband to adopt the child. Richard, thinking he was doing what was best, wouldn't sign the paperwork because his own father had done exactly that when Richard was young and it had really hurt him. However, he sort of . . . stepped out of his son's life and didn't have any immediate plans to return.

Our conversation that night went on for about three hours. Richard really opened up to me and told me a lot more about his life and the opportunities he felt he'd passed up because of his son. He was so young when he found out he was going to be a father and in order to do the "responsible" thing, he'd forgone several athletic scholarships to get a job at the family woodworking business and support his girlfriend and child.

While I didn't necessarily agree with many of the choices he had made, it was obvious that he didn't either and wished he could go back and do many, many things differently. He told me that many of the girls he'd dated in the past wanted nothing to do with him because of his lack of college education, the obvious mistakes and his (up until just recent) inactivity in our shared religion. He had felt the full effects of what can sometimes be a fairly closed minded, judgmental community, and he was very wary of it. I was sure to make it very clear that I wouldn't be joining those passing judgment on him and that I was still very interested in dating him.

The next three weeks were absolute perfection. We lived an inconvenient 45 minutes away from each other but wanted to be together every day, so we just made it happen. We did all of our Christmas shopping together, we drove through horrendous blizzards to see each other. We spent every possible second in each others presence and we were both loving it. We spent time with each others families, bringing our younger siblings along sometimes, and basically, just integrated our lives.

There was one . . . problem. My friends couldn't stand Richard. They thought he was obnoxious and rude. The night they met him, I felt like not one thing was going right. He was trying to be his goofy, fun self, but it was like everything he said was wrong and offensive. I sat through dinner and a movie with a whole group of my friends and their dates cringing the whole time. He didn't like them and they didn't like him. This had to be fixed! I loved being around him so much, and I couldn't live without my friends! I just hoped everyone would come around because I was still pretty sure this guy was IT.

About a week before Christmas, Richard and I were driving to his house from a basketball game with all of his friends. (As a side note, in contrast to the night of meeting my friends, we'd had a great time. I loved all his friends and they seemed to love me -- specifically, they loved me MUCH more than they'd loved the girl he'd just recently broken up with, which was nice to hear.) During the drive we were talking about how much fun the night had been and how great it would be if we lived closer to each other. Then, the conversation turned to the fact that I was graduating from college in one semester and, at the time, my plan was to move to New York City. I wanted to attempt to "make it" in the musical theatre world. I told Richard it was really what I wanted to do and that I probably wouldn't change my mind about it.

Without missing a beat, Richard squeezed my hand and said "So, where do we get married? Here or in New York?"

The Future Looked Mighty Bright

Welcome back to what is most definitely going to be the LONGETST.SOS.EVER. I'm not lying, not even a little bit. This is the saga to end all saga's and it's going to take FOR.EV.ER.

Kisses and hugs to Thalia's Child for hosting this week. She's an angel. If you don't know what Soap Opera Sunday is or are playing along for the first time, the rules are hither at darling Brillig's site.

So, if you're just tuning in, you can go here then here. If you don't give a crap about my stupid former love life and wish I would write something more meaningful and less banal, you can go here. (just kidding. hahahahahaha I love Cartman)

Ahem. Moving on.

So, after our first glorious kiss, Richard and I spent the rest of the night/morning half asleep, half kissing and snuggling. He was so respectful and kind and kept saying the sweetest things. (Those of you who know this story already stop snickering and/or throwing up kthanks.) I left the apartment at about 6 AM and drove home, if you can call it that. I sort of floated home. I'd never met anyone like this guy. He was attractive, sweet, hilarious, complimentary, he had opened all my doors the evening before . . . the list of what I already knew I loved about him went on and on. And on.

I was finally over Sam and I was convinced I had just met my future husband. I woke my Mom up the second I got home and climbed in bed with her and we giggled and talked about this amazing new guy in my life, both relieved that the dark, lonely cloud that had been hanging over my head was gone.

The very next night, he decided he had to see me and drove down in a blizzard (he lived about 45 minutes north of my hometown) to take me out on our first "alone" date. We saw Monster's Inc. - HIS choice! I love Disney movies and was dying to see it and HE chose it. This guy seemed to become more perfect every second I spent with him. After the movie, we went to my house and he sat and talked with my whole family for almost two hours. He talked to my brothers about basketball and football, with my Mom about her work, to my Step-dad about his life . . . it was this awesome, easy, comfortable evening. He seemed to fit right in. He wasn't shy about being affectionate with me, he pulled me down on his lap and rubbed my back and played with my hair the whole time. I really though I'd died and gone to heaven. He was hot and sweet and perfect AND got along with my family?!?!

From that day on, Richard and I talked every day - usually three or four times a day. If I ever couldn't answer my phone, he'd leave a funny message, singing a goofy Christmas song or the Cougar Fight Song or something hilarious like that. I saved some of those messages for months because they were so funny. We talked so much about our lives and families and our goals for the future. Everything seemed to come easily for the two of us. Despite having almost nothing in common, socially, we never ran out of things to talk and laugh about.

We saw each other once again that week, this time up at his house, and we had a really deep discussion about where and how we wanted our new relationship to go. We discussed in depth how neither one of us wanted the relationship to be physically based, so we agreed to try to not kiss anymore, just to make sure that we were being level-headed about it. He told me he had been trying to become active in our church again, after a long time of not going to church at all, and that he didn't want to mess that up, and that he also really, really liked me and wanted to be respectful, something he shared he'd had trouble with in the past. I was floored. He seemed exactly the opposite of what I had thought he was and, despite the newness of our relationship, I was DONE. I was madly in love with him.

On Thanksgiving night, which was five days after we had met, Richard called me very late. He sounded really upset and . . . different. He didn't sound like himself. He was very quiet and serious and there were several long, awkward pauses in our conversation, which was something that had never happened before. I didn't want to pry, but finally I said "Richard, what is wrong with you? Are you ok? You seem . . . different and it's freaking me out."

Another long pause ensued and finally he answered quietly, "Kate, there's something I have to tell you and I don't think you're going to like it. In fact, I don't blame you one bit if you hate me and never want to see me again."

Soap Opera Sunday: The Continuation of the Rivalrous Date

Welcome (back) to Soap Opera Sunday! I'm so excited to be hosting this week, since it's been FOREVER since I did that! For those of you who have no idea what Soap Opera Sunday is, you can check out the information and rules here. Also, any of you who are a little shy, remember that we have an Anonymous Soap Opera Blog that will allow you to tell any stories you like without having to attach your name or blog with the story! If you're participating this week, leave your name and the permalink to your completed Soap Opera in the Mr. Linky and then please leave a comment as well! Love it, love you.



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So, last week I left you just at the moment I met Richard. Shall we continue?

As I mentioned, when he turned around, he literally took my breath away. He looked like the man of my dreams . . . you know, that imaginary guy you draw a picture of in your head that you're pretty sure doesn't exist? He had sparkly brown eyes, curly dark hair, a bit of scruff on his face, two deep dimples and the most amazing smile. Luckily, I was able to gain my composure, otherwise I might have started drooling or something equally embarrassing. We exchanged names and gave each other a quick hug, but there wasn't a lot of time for pleasantries because the game was well underway and at that moment, BYU was loosing badly.

I mentioned Richard was all in red, the color of the University of Utah. I also mentioned that Adrienne had told me Richard was a little wired that evening, which he was. Add together the facts that his team, the away team, were winning, his hyperness and his attire . . . and pretty much every BYU fan in the stadium hated him. He was a typically loud, hilarious, supportive fan, just in the wrong stadium. It was hilarious. The old man sitting behinds us kept tapping me on the shoulder and asking me if I could find a way to make my date shut up. I came up with a few creative ways, one which included shoving his mouth full of Twizzlers, another involving my beanie, but truly, he wasn't to be stopped, and I was loving it.

We were immediately comfortable with each other, mocking the other person for supporting the wrong team, seeing who could yell the loudest and laughing hysterically the whole time. It was, without a doubt, the most fun date I'd ever been on in my life.

BYU pulled of a bit of a miracle in the fourth quarter and won the game, temporarily silencing my obnoxious date, but the night was far from over. Kyle (Adrienne's husband), Adrienne, Richard and I decided to brave the game traffic and head to the Olive Garden for dinner (mostly because it was close). The hilarity continued at dinner. Every couple of minutes Richard would run to the front and grab me a button or a mint from the hostess and with a flourish, present me with my "gift." He made sure I knew I could have WHATEVER I wanted on the menu and made sure to mention exactly what I should get so that he could have some.

After dinner we headed back to Kyle and Adrienne's apartment to watch a movie. I remember we watched Head Over Heels with Freddy Prinze, Jr. and Monica Potter and we all thought it was SO FUNNY. I think it's because we were already insanely wired, but I remember watching a particularly foul bathroom scene (those of you who've seen it know what I'm talking about, yes?) like TEN TIMES and we were crying we were laughing so hard.

Somewhere during the movie Richard reached over and grabbed my hand and I got chills through my whole body. I really couldn't believe that he was interested in me . . . that someone who looked the way he did was interested in ME. He was that guy who I was sure got almost any girl he wanted and he was looking at ME? I was sort of in shock.

At about 2 AM, Kyle and Adrienne decided they were "very tired" and went to bed. Richard and I sat and talked for about an hour . . . we were snuggled together talking mostly about our family's when out of the blue (I was in the middle of a sentence!), he put his finger on my lips then cupped my face in his hands and gently kissed me.

Soap Opera Sunday: Rivalrous Blind Date

Welcome, loved ones, to another Soap Opera Sunday, hosted this week by the amazing Kimberly of Temporary?Insanity! While SOS is the brainchild of Brillig and myself, we are LOVING having our guest hosts! (By the by, if you feel the urge to be a guest host, send me a note or email and I'm happy to work you into the rounds!) Also, if you wanna see the rules, head on over here.

I promised you my long, huge, drawn out drama, so I'll give it a start here. It's going to take a looooooong time, so beware!!!

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Remember Sam? The bloody nose, dumped me because of Cheetos Sam? Yeah well, it might surprise you to know that I had a freaking awful time getting over that loser. I don't know if it was because I was alone or what, but I missed him like crazy.

I began my senior year of college sort of a mess. I was skinnier and had cooler hair, but I was a woman scorned and I was sort of miserable and it showed. That year I had to take some of the hardest classes (ha, in my super easy major. I bet some of you engineering types are laughing at me right now!) that I had saved for the end, one of which was Advanced Jazz Dance. I LOVE to dance, I'm just not very good at it, so having to do triple pirouettes and other complex moves didn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but the first day in class I met the gorgeous Adrienne (seriously, she's like a super hottER version of Nelly Furtado) and we became instant friends and the year started looking up. The class still sucked, but the year in school was going to be easier.

I should mention that I was also working full time during my final year of college. I had a great job at a Subaru dealership and they worked with my school schedule so that I could fit everything in. I was very overwhelmed what with work and trying to graduate and everything, but I was busy and that sort of kept my mind off the fact that I was alone.

About three months into the school year, right around the end of November, Adrienne got sick of my whining and announced she had someone to set me up with. He was her husband's best friend from high school and he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. Adrienne thought we'd be perfect for each other, but I wasn't so sure. He wasn't exactly my "type."

Rembember how I was a Music/Drama nerd? Yeah, he was a total jock. He'd been the kicker on the football team, the captain of the soccer team and also played on the varsity basketball team in high school. So, not just a jock, he was like SUPER jock! He'd been the popular guy in high school just like the guys that I'd always wanted to date, but who never even glanced at me. (I realize I was a senior in college by this time and I should have been SO over that, but it was like one of those things that never goes away until it happens!! I'd always wanted to be wanted by the popular guy.) I figured we'd have nothing in common and hate each other, but agreed to go out with him. At least it was an attempt to get over Sam.

Adrienne's plan was to introduce us at the big rivalry football game of the year, BYU vs Utah. Even if I hated the guy, BYU was undefeated so far that year and the game was totally sold out and was going to be a blast.

The day of the game I had to work until after the game had started, so I was going to be a little late. I changed into my best, hottest, but of course BYU blue, outfit and headed to the game, getting there just as the first quarter was ending. I was embarrassed because Adrienne didn't have a cell phone and I was supposed to call the guy and tell him I was there so Adrienne could come down with my ticket and I had TOTALLY forgotten what his name was. Then it got even worse because he didn't answer his phone. I called like ten times and no answer. FINALLY he called me back and told me Adrienne was on her way. His voice sounded hot at least!

I remember as we walked up the stairs into the stands she warned me of two things -- that Richard (phew! She told me his name!) was super hyper that night and that he was a Utah fan, dressed completely in red. I have always felt hyperactivity and football games go well together, as does a good rivalry, even if it's in the stands. If nothing else, it was going to be fun to taunt him as BYU kicked Utah's butts.

Richard's back was to me as we walked to our seats but he was wearing a red coat, red hat and -- yes people -- red sneakers. I just started laughing at the absurdity of it all.

And then, he turned around and completely took my breath away.

Soap Opera Sunday: Long Lost Friend

Hi lovlies! Welcome to a very late SOS! Sorry I sort of disappeared there for a while! It's a long story but I'll spare you the details and get on with my Soap Opera.

If you're playing along, lovely Brillig the Greatest is hosting this week, so leave your link in her Mr. Linky. If you want to play along, go here for the rules! We'd love to have you join our dramatic fun!

Last Sunday (when I didn't post - BADKATE) I promised you something entirely different than what I'm writing, but something has been on my mind this week so I'm going to write about that. I'll write that other story really soon. Crossmyheart.

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Lately, I've been thinking a lot about a lost friend. Way back in my awkward years, right when I needed a friend very badly, I met someone I really thought was a soul mate of mine. We truly had the most wonderful time together and became instant best friends. I loved her family, I loved being with her . . . I loved everything about her.

We stayed the best of friends through many years, helping each other through high school, college, heartaches, horrible injustices, broken engagements, marriages and many, many other things. She was truly one of the most wonderful friends I've ever known. However, there was a little "issue" going on in the background. She was sort of a compulsive liar. She would lie about very strange things and seemed unable to keep stories straight so that there was always a different story being told to a different person. What was odd is that she never really lied about anything that was that big of a deal. It was mostly stuff that didn't matter anyway, so myself and the other girls who were friends with her usually laughed it off and let it go. She was a wonderful, caring, kind friend who would have stood in front of a train for anyone she loved, so we all just thought it was easier to let it go.

As the years passed it started to get harder and harder to believe anything she said. It was almost as though she had built her life on things that were entirely false and she didn't know what was true and what was made up anymore, and as her best friend, it seemed strange to me that she didn't trust me or love me enough just to be HERSELF with me, rather than this person she had sort of . . . made up.

Then, the lies started getting bigger and were covering up bigger problems. Things that were starting to affect other people. It was hard to not call her out on them, but I'd never been THAT friend . . . I have always been uncomfortable with confrontation and it just seemed easier to let her think she was getting away with it rather than try to confront her and have the lie get even bigger. Things were easier and more fun when there wasn't any trauma or confrontation and, as I mentioned, she was never a bad friend to me . . . she just lied a lot about other things that were going on in a big way.

Then there was a big blow up in her life, and as her best friend, I was asked to help intervene on her behalf to fix things. I knew both parties involved and though I knew I should stay out of it, I thought maybe I could help. What I learned is that both people involved had serious issues. Issues that I couldn't help with. Issues that needed a professional therapist. The lies that my friend had told were starting to affect the other person involved, and the other person had some serious issues that were very much affecting my dear friend in a very negative way. I told both parties they needed professional help.

Telling my friend this was not the best idea. I hurt her beyond my words to describe her pain. I felt awful about it. I re-thought my place in the issue and then I kindly told both parties that I shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place and I needed to stay out of it and they needed to work it out themselves.

However, I was already in a little too deep. The other party in the issue had found something that they felt I needed to know about my friend, and it was sent to me in an email. What I saw in the email was very shocking to me, and I responded to the email stating my shock and asking what was going to be done. Later that night I received a phone call from my friend. She had seen my email and felt that I had completely betrayed her.

I am not proud of my involvement in this issue. I am a meddler/conflict solver by nature and it was hard for me not to want to "help" my friend with her situation, but it was NOT my place to get involved. That phone call was not easy. My friend was justifiably angry and felt I had taken the other person's side. In my (lame) defense, I felt, and still feel, both parties were incredibly wrong in what they had done and I told them both so. They had asked for my help and I had tried to do my best. I am not good at being on one person's side. I was brought up to always try to look for the other person's reasons before judging them too harshly. That is what I was doing in this situation, wrong or right.

My friend and I worked that issue out and tried to move on from that day. We tried very hard to get over it and become close again. She eventually worked out the problem and life seemed to calm down and we attempted to completely reconcile, but obviously, it wasn't easy and our once breezy friendship became a very strained friendship from that point on.

About seven or eight months later, this friend, who happened to work for a close family member of mine, was let go. That day she decided to publish a blog post about the wretched conditions of her workplace and her horrid boss, and how excited she was to finally leave that place of filth and be home with her family. Remember, her boss was a member of my family who I loved very dearly.

When I saw the post, I calmly closed the browser, and in my most passive-aggressive attitude (I've mentioned I'm really good at that stuff, right?!?), I deleted her email address from my address book, her phone number from my phone and her link from my blog. I decided that I needed a serious break from the friendship.

My other friends jumped to my family member's defense, and let her know exactly how wrong they felt what she had done was. Then, most of them, not at my bidding, decided to pause their friendship with her as well. I didn't encourage this and truly didn't care if they continued hanging out with her. This was my choice and mine alone, but it seemed most of them had been agitated with her shenanigans for quite some time.

About a week later I received an email from my friend, apologizing for the blog post, but it was too little, too late. I responded back that I needed a break and that being friends with her had just become too hard and too exhausting. I apologized for getting too involved in her personal life and let her know she had never been a bad friend, just that I didn't trust anything she said anymore and it was getting tiresome to keep up with her lies and pretend to be dumb enough to buy them, and then I told her goodbye.

I received a response from her but I never read it.

This all happened about a year ago. A year ago I said goodbye to someone I thought was a part of my soul. Someone I had loved for years and laughed with almost every day. Someone who's dance concerts I had faithfully attended and who was always in the front row of my performances with flowers for me. Someone who's wedding I was part of and who was part of mine, who's daughter I held on the day she was born and who I always expected would be an aunt to my children. She was like a sister to me and it broke my heart to say goodbye to her. I was so exhausted and so sad that she didn't seem to trust me enough to admit the truth and her mistakes to me and I didn't want to be a part of the lies anymore.

I don't know the ending to my soap opera. I don't know if someday we might get past all of this and be friends again. There are times that I miss her desperately . . . and other times I don't. I'm sure she thinks the same things about me. I hope she's happy and doing OK. I don't wish her any ill, I just wish that things could have turned out a little differently.



***I'm being very vague to protect my friend and others here. I'm sorry if this post became confusing in the vagueness. I'm also turning off comments for this post because of how personal it is to me and how many people I know are aware of the people and details of this story. I'd love your comments, just not in a public forum, so please feel free to email them to me at kateastrophe(at)cox(dot)net (there's a link in my sidebar if that's easier, okTHANKSbye)***

Soap Opera Sunday Delay and Thankfuls

I am so sorry but I'm not posting for Soap Opera Sunday today. I am unfortunately not feeling any better and try as I might, I can't come up with an interesting story or the energy to write anything coherent. I promise I'll make it up to you next week because I'm going to start with the most messed up, long, drawn out soap opera of my life. It might take me like four months to complete, no lie.

Anyway, if you're playing this week, our Anonymous Soap Opera Blog is hosting this week! This is a place for you to post stories you may not want your name associated with, so if you've got a story you're DYING to tell but are feeling a little shy, head on over and post away!! The rules and all that jive are posted over there too, so head on over!

Anyway, really quickly here are the things I'm thankful for today:

1. THE Ohio State Buckeye Football team. We had a gloriously victorious day over the Michigan Wolverines and it made my day. Go Bucks!!

2. Nasal Spray. One second I can't breathe, then I spray that miracle liquid up my nose and voila! For as long as it lasts I can breathe through my nose!

3. Freshly waxed eyebrows. I was beginning to look like a Wookie and the one thing I forced myself to do today was run over to my community spa and get those babies waxed. I feel SO much better when I look at my face!

4. Our new, huge bathtub. I'm on my way for a long relaxing soak. In the old house the tub just seemed to small so having a big tub seems like heaven!

5. The hand knit blanket Matt's Aunt Lorma made for us as a wedding gift. It doesn't get a ton of use in hot Arizona, but it's awesome to cuddle up with when one of us isn't feeling good.

Hope you all have a great weekend and if I'm still alive, I'll be back tomorrow!!

C.H.O.T.M.E becomes mine . . . for a minute

Welcome back to Soap Opera Sunday! Thanks bunches to the gorgeous Jenn in Holland for being our gracious hostess this week! Be sure to link to her site if you're sharing a Soap Opera or just to read more gloriously soapy tales! If you want to play, here are the rules and don't forget our Anonymous Soap Opera blog for any of you who are a little shy (or scared your in-laws might see!)
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To catch up with last weeks story about Charley, go here. And now the end of the story.

If my memory serves me correctly, Charley and I exchanged letters a few times while he was on his two year mission for the LDS Church. I honestly have no recollection of where he went, but he was gone, and I went on with my life. I dated lots of guys, was "waiting" for a missionary of my own (or so I thought, that in and of itself is a huge saga), traveling through Europe after studying abroad in London and just having myself a blast doing the college thing and I sort of forgot about Charley. I knew he was in love with Amber and figured he would probably come home and marry her.

I don't remember how or when it happened, but Charley and I crossed paths during my Sophomore year in college. We chatted like the old friends we were and spent some time catching up. It turned out Amber had married someone else and he was still very much single, as was I. Excellent. Then, as we were ending our conversation, the thing I had dreamed of for so long happened. Charley asked me out on a real, honest to goodness date. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

There was a nasty catch though, we were doubling with his best friend Rob and his wife Ashley.* I hated Rob and Ashley. The stories of why I hated them stemmed from so much drama I can't even begin to spell it out for you here. There are tales of misunderstandings, confrontation, snobbery, idiocy . . . and basically the two of them being total and complete MORONS individually who somehow fell in love and got married and became morons together. But I was so excited to go out with Charley I figured it would be fine.

The night of the date came and Charley picked me up in his truck who he had bought from a mutual friend of ours and I remember it's name was Thor (don't even ask) and we headed off for our date. We were going to dinner and a movie. I was overjoyed, despite knowing I had to spend an evening being nice to Rob and Ashley. We had dinner at Wendy's (cheesy I know but we were all poor starving students) and honestly it was SO awkward. Rob and Ashley were all fakey nice and I tried to make polite conversation but it wasn't working. Charley was trying to make me feel included but it was made very clear to me that I wasn't liked and I was an outsider in their midst. Super.

I, once again, don't recall what movie we went to but I know it was at the $1 theatre and what I remember most is that Charley left to go get treats and left me ALONE with the morons. It was so bad. We just sort of . . . sat there in an awkward silence trying not to make eye contact.

I know hindsight is 20/20 but looking back I should have just called it a night after the movie was over, but I still got all tingly when Charley was around and we'd held hands during the movie and NOW we could finally be alone. A girlfriend of mine had invited us over to use her hot tub so we headed that way. It was a cold night and I think it was snowing, which made being in the outdoor hot tub even better. Charley was very snuggly, but there was no kissing, which was weird to me because HELLO?! It's CHARLEY! And it wasn't like I was playing hard to get (or ever did for that matter. Hi my name is Kate, I was a Mormon Slut. Thank you.). We spent a lot of the evening in the hot tub talking about funny things that had happened in high school, people we both knew and what had happened to them and then randomly, made a list of the best songs currently on the radio to make-out to. (I know. Wha???)

Finally at about midnight, we finally threw on some warm clothes over our suits and headed back to my apartment. We pulled into the driveway and sort of sat there for a second trying to decide what to do. Then Charley reached down and turned on the radio. Ironically, the song we had dubbed the #1 sexiest make-out song on the radio at the time (Fiona Apple's Fast as You Can . . . not romantic mind you, just HOTHOTHOT) had just started playing. In one of the quickest, most exhilierating moments of my life, Charley reached over and cupped his hand around my neck and pulled me to him for an extremely passionate kiss . . . that sort of lasted four hours. In the parking lot of my BYU approved (read: boys out by midnight)apartment. Still wearing wet bathing suits under our clothes. With wet hair. In a small truck. With a stick shift in the middle. It was a very steamy (literally. Steam from the wet hair and the suits. Ok and us too!) slightly uncomfortable, roaringly fun evening/late night/early morning. I went inside at like 4:30 or 5:00 AM and fell blissfully into bed.

I remember feeling like I had just reached the peak of Everest or something. I had wanted Charley for basically four years and FINALLY I had made out with him. (OK I realize that it's not like it was hard, considering he made out with EVERYONE, but to that point it had never been ME) I found myself confused though, because I was ecstatic in a very . . . non-committal way. It was so weird! We planned to go out again but I think now that I had finally gotten what I really wanted . . . it was sort of all i wanted! Just a good make-out buddy!

We only hung out one more time on a gorgeous snowy evening. Charley came to see me and we ended up in a huge snowball fight in the yard in front of my apartment and then at the end of the night he hugged me tight, kissed my cheek and said goodnight. It is one of my favorite memories. I knew at that moment we'd never go out again. I didn't know why, but I knew. And I was totally OK with it.

I found out about three weeks later that between our first date and the second time we hung out, he had gone to visit some old friends in Colorado and had fallen head-over-heels in love with the woman who ended up being his wife. I received a wedding invitation less than four months later. I can honestly say I'm so happy for Charley. I have heard that he's doing VERY well for himself, has a beautiful little boy and I've heard nothing but good things about his darling wife.

I should note that, ironically, my little sister and her husband are BEST friends with Charley's little brother and his wife. What a small world, huh? I get to tell funny stories to them about Charley and I'm sure Charley has funny stories about me to share with them in return. This is one of the few "relationships" in my life that didn't end awkwardly. I will always think of him as a friend and I hope he does the same.

And that, dear friends, ends the saga of "Heat."

*Names have been changed to protect the stupid.

Another Lame Post

Let's see . . . I seem to suck at blogging about . . . anything relevant lately. I feel as though I've been in a writers slump. Not that I consider myself a real writer or anything important like that because I don't.

I do have two minor Kateastrophes to report on, so I suppose I should share, and there are a couple of other things to update you on. So I guess I present MORE RANDOMNESS!

First of all, I rolled - that's right ROLLED - my brother-in-law's quad at the Dunes last week. Several things make the story funny. First, Taylor (the B-I-L) laid it down sideways WITH his poor wife on it the first time they rode together. He hurt his wrist but overall they were OK. Second, my father-in-law also laid it down on his first ride on it. So basically, Matt is the only person who rode it who didn't wreck it. The other thing that makes the story funny is that the reason I rolled it was because I was going too slow. That's right. I crashed because I was going TOO.SLOW. I was on the side of a steep dune and rather than gunning it to prevent the roll, I got scared and slowed down. Aaaaaand down I went. Luckily I slid about ten feet down the hill so the quad didn't roll ON me. I was only about fifty feet from Matt and he was so scared that I was hurt and came running down the hill. I was just lying there on my back, holding the quad (which is still running) with my legs so it wouldn't roll any further and of course laughing my head off. I wasn't hurt, thank goodness, but I think that quad might be the devil.

My second Kateastrophe happened the night we got back from the dunes. I was doing serious laundry because EVERYTHING smelled horrible, and I didn't clean out the pocket of my riding pants, and I washed my iPod shuffle. What's really sad is that on the drive home, I told Matt I was worried that I'd wash it so he needed to help me remember to clean out all the pockets. After he found out I washed it he laughs and says

"You know what's funny, wifey? You KNOW what you're going to do wrong. You always ask me to remind you NOT to do something stupid that you think you might do."

It's totally true. I know I do this crap. I know I forget stuff like that, so I ask people to help me remember not to be stupid. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. So I figured my iPod was dead, but remembered a time a few years ago when I dropped my cell phone in the lake and it somehow survived the damage after it dried out for a few days. SO, I let the Shuffle dry out and magically, it works! I'm guessing it's going to be a little retarded for the rest of it's life but it WORKS! YAY! Kateastrophe averted! That sure doesn't happen very often!!

Update on my fatness . . . I'm on a serious diet. I've started eating less than 2000 calories a day and making sure that it's mostly veggies, whole grains and lean protein and I give myself one day off a week to eat what I want. The only cheating I've done in over a week was last night for the chicken noodle soup. It's actually very healthy but the noodles aren't made with whole grains. So my cheating technically wasn't that bad but I do have to call a spade a spade and admit to the cheat. I'm sort of sick of salad and lettuce but I'm loving the Trader Joe's whole grain mixes. They are super delicious! I'm a carb junkie, so the NO carb thing doesn't work for me, but the whole grain carb thing does. I figure I can do the calorie counting and some of the other stuff . . . it doesn't feel as extreme. I'm also loving fresh fruit. Mmmm yum.

In addition to the diet, I'm also working out six days a week. Right now I'm working up to serious workouts, but I do 45 minutes of cardio every day and when I have the energy I add in some weight training. It feels pretty good.

Sadly, I'm being UBER superficial and using my ten year high school reunion as my motivation right now. I don't really know why . . . I'm still in touch with most of my friends from high school and they know what I look like now but I guess any motivation is good motivation right?!

So um, I will end this post with Friday's Thankfuls, as most of you will see this post on Friday.

1. Perfect weather. We're finally, FINALLY out of the hotness in Arizona and the weather is gorgeous. I sure love me a good 78 degree day.

2. Dove shampoo and conditioner. See I used to be a hair care product snob. Only Aveda was good enough for my hair. But then I got a house and a husband (and a life?) and got cheap and I got the HUGE, cheap bottles of Dove at Costco. Surprisingly, I LOVE it! My hair always smells clean and is SO soft and silky. Yay for cheap, great haircare!

3. Julia. I got the FUNNIEST message from her today at work and died laughing right there in my cube. I'm so grateful for her and her undying friendship and amazing sense of humor. We've been through a lot and I'm grateful that it's only brought us closer rather than ripping us apart. I love her so.

4. Chapstick. In such a dry climate my lips always feel so parched, so I'm glad somebody a long time ago had the good sense to package some of that goodness in a tube.

5. Remote controls. How annoying would it have been to have to get up to change the channel? Ugh. Yay for laziness and fun buttons.

Soap Opera Sunday: Heat of the Moment

Hey all! We're changing up Soap Opera Sunday just a little bit and it's actually very exciting! You can read about how on this post at Brillig's place.

The first and most fun change is that we have a button! Woot! Isn't it purty?

Second change is that we're going to start having guest hosts! Staring today!

This week, Thalia's Child is playing our gracious hostess. If you're playing along, be sure to head over to her site to link your Soap Opera. If you're just looking for soapy tales, head on over for the links!!
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Back when I was an awkward, weird looking high school Sophomore, I became friends with a beautiful Senior girl named Brillig. Being friends with a Senior had it's perks . . . the biggest one being the Senior boys. One in particular who sort of became my obsession for quite a long time. let's call him Charlie Edwards.

If I were to describe Charlie in detail, even I wouldn't find him super attractive. He was . . . decent looking at best. There was really nothing special about his looks . . . he just oozed charm. Oh the charm! He typically had girls falling all over him. He had two nicknames, Chotme and Heat. The first took me a while to understand so I rarely paid attention to it, but the second one I used all the time. Heat was actually an abbreviation of the phrase "Heat of the Moment." And it took Brillig's genius and most of that year in school to figure out the first nickname. It turned out Chotme should have been written C.H.O.T.M.E. It was the acronym for Charlie "Heat of the Moment" Edwards, and as I'm sure you can gather, the origination of Heat. We just didn't catch on to the second one for a while. Anyway, as you can gather from his nicknames, Charlie had the reputation of being the guy who kissed ANY girl he was left alone with. And somehow, I got it in my 15 year old mind that Charlie was the guy for me. I literally became obsessed, to the confusion of all around me.

We all knew about his reputation, me especially. I knew what he did and how he did it. The other thing I also knew about was HIS obsession with another Senior girl, Amber. Despite all his Don Juan-ing around school, he loved Amber. And she rarely gave him the time of day . . . they ran in the same group of friends, but she was the kind of girl who didn't often kiss anyone and wanted to be in love if she did. She was not the kind of girl to date Charlie. Yet he was totally and completely head over heels for her.

See how stupid I am? I knew all of this and yet I was hopelessly in love with him.

Now, in fairness to myself, I didn't actually just arrive at this obsession on my own. Charlie was always VERY nice to me. Well, more than nice. While we had yet to kiss . . . Charlie and I had our little moments. We'd cuddle in the choir room when no one was there. He'd rub my back and we'd talk for hours. He'd find me backstage during play practice and sit down with me and hold my hand and play with my hair. He was in the architecture class at school and he had designed a gorgeous home to someday build in Telluride, Colorado that he called "our" house (since a member of my family happened to own land in Telluride.). We'd talk about the floor plan and how to move things around and how to make it perfect. Charlie obviously knew I was in deep smit over him and he definitely used it to his benefit, while still seducing other girls and pining over Amber.

During all of this, I was a truly obsessed stalker. He lived just a few blocks from me and I used to drag my sister on walks, just so I could walk by his house and see if he was there. I'd go out of my way to find him in dark hallways and try to steal a few minutes for us to snuggle or whatever. And I did one thing that was the worst of all. I befriended Amber.

We started hanging out a lot. Now, I should say that I did really, really like Amber. She was so nice and sweet and fun to be around. But I had ulterior motives despite truly liking her. I wanted to find out if she'd ever like Charlie back. And it appeared that no, she never would. She thought he was a stupid, horny little boy who had no respect for women, and made sure to tell me that often. Yet I loved on and helped keep convincing her that Charlie was a no-good loser. (*hanging head in shame.*)

I truly think I was obsessed with Charlie for most of my Sophomore year. My legs turned to Jell-O whenever he was around. After I received a Superior mark (the best one you can get) at a Region Vocal Competition, he came and hugged and congratulated me. Sadly, that's the only part of that day I remember. My hug from Charlie. I, as a Sophomore, had just been the only soloist from our High School to receive such a high mark and be allowed to compete at the State level and I don't even remember what song I sang. I remember Charlie's hug. (*snacking self in head now.*)

The year wore on and graduation was close. I was still hanging out with most of that group of Seniors and was overjoyed to be invited to graduation parties and such. One in particular was up Provo Canyon at a park and I remember Charlie offered to drive me home when the party was over. I remember FLYING down the canyon at warp speed (he was trying to scare me) and Charlie holding my hand to comfort me. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I figured that now that the school year was almost over, he might have decided to stick with me and love me back.

Then, the next day I remember hearing the buzz around school. Amber had been broken. She and Charlie were together. Like, really truly together. It had happened the night before after Charlie had dropped me off at home. What's weird is that I don't remember being exactly heartbroken. I remember being weirded out. Charlie was going on a mission for our church soon and I knew Amber wasn't going to wait for him. I knew that I might get another chance. So I decided to hunker down and just wait, even if it was two years. I just decided to be patient and to wait.

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Next week, come back to see if all the waiting paid off!

Soap Opera Sunday Continues . . . FINALLY!

Oh wow I'm so sorry about last week. As I mentioned in my previous post, we had a bit of an Internet debacle as well as a moving and time debacle and let's all just chalk it up to a big 'ole debacle. And I'm sorry I'm posting late this week!

OK so to get caught up on the longest SOS in history, go here then here then here then here
then finally here.

Told you it was the longest SOS in history.

So, for those of you who don't have seven hours to catch up, basically I'm accidentally dating two guys and one of them is currently on a Greyhound Bus on his way to see me from California, and I've got to figure out what to do with the other guy.

So I do what any normal, 20 year old, cheating girlfriend would do. I lied my pants off.

I told Sam I had a cousin coming to town (I met Keith through my cousin so technically the cousin part has teeny tiny bit of . . . ok it's just a flat out lie) and that I won't be able to see him for a few days while we do family stuff. Now, had Sam said something like that to me I would have asked to meet the cousin, and been incredibly suspicious when he wouldn't let me. Good old Sam just said "OK, cool."

So, gorgeous Keith arrived at the Greyhound station in Salt Lake where I was waiting for him (another weird story for another time. Those places are CRAZY!) and we commenced our weekend of, well basically making out and hanging out with my family. He was very sweet the whole time, and as my girlfriends remember, followed me around like a puppy. They thought it was hilarious when, after they mentioned that to me, I commenced calling him my puppy. He is actually still known today amongst Rhonda and Jewels as my puppy.

One of the nights he was in town, my Mom had tickets to the outdoor theatre at Sundance to see Fiddler on the Roof. Keith, like the trooper he was agreed to go. We had seats way at the top of the amphitheater on the grass, so we were all cuddled up in blankets. Right before the show started I went to go get us some treats at the concession stand. After I got my stuff, I turned around to walk back to my seats and ran smack dab into Sam's father.

Oh holy crap.

I started to panic. That family went nowhere without the whole clan. I just KNEW Sam was there. I knew it. And I knew as soon as his Dad got back to his seats, Sam would be looking for me. And I knew that when I didn't run down to say hi to all of them, that they would get suspicious. I had no idea what to do. I had never juggled two guys before, not when I actually had a boyfriend at least, so I was lost. I ran up to my blanket, and basically hid under the covers for the rest of the play. Unfortunately, that didn't hide my entire family who was there with me and I just knew I was totally busted.

I was totally nervous the rest of the weekend Keith was in town. He was such a sweet guy. So sweet in fact that he sat me down and told me we shouldn't see each other romantically anymore because our religious differences would tear us apart and he didn't want that for me. The girl who thought he was hot inside of me tried to talk him out of it, but another part of me was relieved. I didn't know how to juggle two guys, that was completely obvious.

Monday morning I dropped Keith off at the bus station and prepared to meet my fate with Sam.

When I saw him next he didn't say a word about it, but things weren't . . . normal. He was spending a lot of time at his houses and asked that I not come over and distract him. I went into repair mode. I started trying to "help" all I could. I dropped off little treats for him to remind him that I cared. Every time we talked he would say "you are the kindest person I've ever met." I thought it was sweet.

Turns out it was his way of prepping me for the inevitable. You see, I was the kindest person he'd ever met and that's why it was going to be hard for him to dump me for the absolutely stupid reason he had chosen to dump me for.

Naturally, he didn't tell me that reason when he called me on the phone to dump me. He just told me I was the kindest person he'd ever met and he felt horrible about it but it just wasn't right. He wasn't ready. He gave me the infamous "it's not you, it's me" speech. Even though I had cheated on him I was completely heartbroken. I'm not sure if it was the thought of being alone or what but it literally took me months, and my next dramatic relationship (another SOS saga for sure) to get over him.

I truly don't think he ever knew about Keith. He had decided long before that to dump me. He had decided the day after our first kiss on the drive home from Park City. When I was eating a bag of Cheetos and licking the orange dust off my fingers. He thought that was absolutely disgusting and he had been planning to dump me since then. I found this out months later when I was talking to his younger brother. Sam had told his family about the Cheetos and they had apparently looked at him in shock, not believing that weird, ridiculous thing was the reason he had ended things with me. They thought he was retarded and so did I.

So folks, thus ends the saga of Sam, the boy who dumped me because of the way I ate Cheetos.

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I seem to be having trouble with the Mr. Linky code, so if you're playing this week do me all a favor and head over to Brillig's site and leave your link in hers. She's got a great SOS this week . . . sort of a play along! Go check it out!

Happy Soap Opera Sunday!

Ahhhh Keith

Ahh readers, let me apologize in advance if this story is a wee bit . . . badly written? Nonsensical? Retarded?

See, I've been up since like 6 AM and have been moving all.day.long. I'm exhausted, so bear with me.

Ahem.

Last week, I left off after my bloody nose put a bit of a damper on my make out "sesh." Needless to say I was very embarrassed, and very worried that Sam would dump me because of it. He just seemed like that type of guy, you know? He had dumped a girl for putting her feet on his pillow, so a bloody nose all over him didn't seem encouraging.

Oddly enough, I was wrong and he wanted to see me the next day, and every day after that (for a while at least.). We were preparing ourselves for a lengthy separation. I was headed off to Pennsylvania then Ohio to see my Dad and attend a cousin's wedding in Columbus and Sam was headed to Lake Powell for a family vacation. We were going to be apart for about ten days, if I remember correctly. We said our goodbyes, said we'd talk on the phone if and when we were able and went off on our trips.

My trip back east turned out a LOT differently than I was expecting. Well, mostly my trip to Ohio. My family is . . . how do I explain them. Oh yeah. IRISH. CATHOLIC. Read: lots of loud, hilarious, drunken fun. My Dad is the youngest of seven kids and I have tons of awesome cousins. And we all (aunts, uncles, cousins and even spouses) pretty much share six names. Patrick, Robert (Bob), Paul, Kate, Sean and Kathy. So, needless to say, a wedding in the family causes more craziness and parties than normal. This trip was no exception. We were having a blast. Then, the cousins my age invited my siblings and I (all four of us) to a party. Now, we had all grown up in Utah and weren't exactly used to normal, teenage/college student parties, and this was a normal teenage/college student party. That meant underage boozing. Lots of it.

(I should clarify that I have two brothers who are not active members of the LDS church and who drink on a regular basis. I pass no judgement on them, as I strongly believe each individual needs to choose religion and personal rules for themselves, but I didn't want any of you to be surprised as I tell the next part of my story.)

This was the first party like this that I had ever been to. I was totally fascinated by what was going on around me. I think drunk people are hilarious and I was observing everyone. And then I observed Keith. HELLO KEITH. He was GOR-GEOUS. Like, Channing Tatum gorgeous. SO gorgeous that my sister Meagan and my cousin Kate also had their eyes on him. This was the first time that my sister, who is four years younger than me, and I had ever had our eyes on the same guy. And it was strange to me that my cousin (also four years my junior) and I seemed to share the same taste. But I took it as a challenge and was determined that I would hook Keith by the end of the night. Oddly, Sam didn't even cross my mind.

It didn't take long for me to get my way. Honestly, to this day I'm still surprised. Keith was WAY out of my league. AND, he wasn't even drunk. I'd been watching . . . he'd had one beer the whole night. But, by some random luck, he had also singled me out. Within about fifteen minutes we were chatting comfortably and I was getting the evil eye from my sister and cousin, who finally gave up and went home, very very mad at me for stealing him, but I didn't care one bit.

We spent the entire evening together and, I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but soon we were making out. In the middle of the party. In front of everyone. Including my huge 6'2 and 6'3 overly defensive brothers. But pretty much everyone was WASTED, including my brothers. They were very confused about what was going on. They all kept noticing what I was doing and trying to tell someone who could beat Keith up, but they couldn't say his name or even my name right. Keith and I kept laughing about it, especially because we were sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room making out right in front of my "mean" brother and he just kept staring. Obviously, it wasn't like an . . . intense, involved make-out, but we were alternating talking and making out for about three hours.

To be perfectly honest, Keith was actually a really amazing guy. He had played football in high school (still had the gorgeous body to prove it) in the Columbus area and then his parents had divorced and he now lived in the Sacramento area with his mother and was just visiting with his Dad. He was investigating different religions, trying to figure out what he believed and at the moment, his focus was on Buddhism. He was smart and hot and funny and hot and interesting and did I mention HOT?

Finally, I HAD to get back to my aunt's house. I was the designated driver and my brothers and cousin were practically passed out. Keith was headed back to Sacramento soon after I was headed back to Utah and he told me he was going to try to come visit me. At that moment I remember Sam, but I thought "Yeah right. We met at a booze party and you live in Northern California. Suuuuure you're going to come visit me" We kissed good-bye, again in front of my glowering brothers, and headed our separate ways.

A few days later I was back in Utah and back in Sam's arms, happy as can be, Keith all but forgotten.

So, I was very, very surprised and flattered and . . . worried . . . when Keith called the DAY he arrived home in Sacramento and said he wanted to see me that weekend and that he was taking a GREYHOUND BUS to make it happen.

Oh. Crap.

Next week we're going to learn exactly how bad Kate is at juggling two guys and just maybe learn what the fatal flaw was that caused Sam to run for the hills. If Kate can fit that much information into one post.

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Ok kids, hopefully most of you know the next part!

Those of you participating in Soap Opera Sunday, please leave your permalink in the Mr. Linky as well as a comment. Then, make sure to link to both Brillig and myself in your post so that all your readers have the option of finding all the great stories from all the SOS participants!