Ta-Daa! Sticky!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Bloody Good Date

Schmokey dokey. My Soap Opera Sunday last week left off after Sam and I had our first oh so NOT romantical kiss.

Unknown to me, on our drive home from the cabin, Sam, who was a little like Jerry Seinfeld, discovered my fatal flaw (which we will discuss later) and I think he'd started the uphill climb of not liking me anymore. But, as I said, this was unknown to me and we just kept right on kissing every night for the next little while.

Quick little side note . . . Whenever I think about it, it feels like Sam and I dated for a very long time, but as I take a second to add it all up, I realize that one of the most dramatic relationships in my life only lasted a total of something like four weeks. Weird, right? Ok side note over.

So, what FELT like two weeks later but in reality was about three DAYS later we were at his house, which was, at the time, empty, because he was in the process of cleaning and renting it out and we were alone, in the dark . . . doing what two 20-something Mormon kids do when you're ALONE and in the DARK. I'm embarrassed to admit this publicly, but it was a fairly . . . intense . . . make-out session that had been going on for quite some time. At some point, I noticed some . . . wetness, on my face. I didn't think much of it, you know SPIT and all being involved, but it kept getting worse . . . and then I realized what had happened. The horrible, awful thing that had happened:

I
HAD
GOTTEN
A
MASSIVE
BLOODY
NOSE
ALL
OVER
MYSELF
AND
MY
BOYFRIEND

Remember how I was on Accutane? Remember the dryness it causes? Well it had caused so much dryness that it had caused my nose to crack and bleed. And it had caused it to do that while I was "getting it on." I still curse you, Accutane!!

I pulled away and said "uh-oh." We turned on a light and unveiled what appeared to be a BATTLE SCENE. We were both covered from the neck up. COVERED. I was MORTIFIED. I didn't know what to say or what to do. Luckily he just started laughing. He went to the bathroom and cleaned up the best he could . . . and came back for some more of me and my hotness.

Five minutes later? Yeah. Another bloody nose.

Followed by the line my boyfriend uttered that I will mock him for behind his back for LIFE.

"Wow, my Mom does my laundry. How am I going to explain THIS?"

Needless to say we called it a night. I still don't know how that Mama's boy got around explaining the bloody mess I had left all over his clothes!

Tune in next Sunday when Keith the Greyhound Bus riding Buddhist enters the scene, courtesy of an underage booze party in Columbus, Ohio.

Absolutely nothing in the above sentence is is any way an exaggeration. I'm so not kidding.

--------------------------

OK gorgeous peeps! Now it's time to go check out the other fun Soap Operas being written in Bloglandia!

As always, if you're playing along, please put your permalink in the Mr. Linky then leave a lovely comment and make sure to link to both Brillig and myself in your post. Love you all!




21 comments:

soccer mom in denial said...

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

nell said...

I'll be back in the morning to read - I love my Sunday mornings!

The Bastian's said...

I cannot believe it! I kind of thought the kateastrophe was an exageration. I am so sorry! You have the worst luck!! I love your posts though, you are so funny!

Kimberly said...

Good grief woman! What a fascinatin' life you've lead!

p.s. I'm suffering Brillig withdrawals and hopin' she's okay.

Thalia's Child said...

HOLY SNAP!

I can't even imagine!!

Rhonda Can't Help You said...

Can't wait for next week, puppy!!

Brillig said...

Ooooohhhhh, I get the heeby jeebies just thinking about this. EEEEWWWWW! Such a perfect Kateastrophe.

And flaw? Fatal flaw? You? I'm seriously very puzzled by that sentence. I have no idea what you're talking about there. The Kate I know is utterly flawless.

And I'm dying to hear about this bus-riding Keith person. hahahahaha. And no, I do not doubt the veracity of any of the sentence...

Secret Agent Mama said...

Can't wait to read more, Kate!!!

His line is classic and definitely MOCK-WORTHY! LOL

Dana said...

I would soo love to know how he explained this to Momma!

nell said...

Wow. I am SO glad that I do not have a story to match this one. Still, it's fun to read!

Fourier Analyst said...

Boy you sure got your nickname early! And no, I am sure we all do not doubt your warnings of what to expect! What fun! YAY S.O.S.!

Goofball said...

oh gosh.....maybe next time already wear red T-shirts on dates?

Jewels said...

DUDE. DUDE. It gets better every time I hear it! You poor thing, I still have a little pang of sympathy for you about that whole mess. You recovered like a champion!

Dedee said...

I can't even imagine (whilst I snicker in my sleeve.) Next week is obviously going to be good.

Momo Fali said...

OH! That's awful!

Jen said...

Mine will be up tomorrow - MONDAY. I'm also going to read tomorrow... I ran into a bit of jam ;-)

Kate said...

Holy! Another great SOS entry . . . Wasn't it nice of Sam to leave you with a little bit of mocking-fodder to sooth your heart when he walked out of your life!?!? Seriously though . . . and HOW old was he again? Mama's boy, indeed!
Can't wait for next week!

Jen said...

How mortifying but HOW funny! Oh, Kate, that was priceless. And what a hook you left us with. Can't WAIT for next week. Yeeeehaaaa!

Anonymous said...

dump the dude, marry me and we'll make beautiful pictures together


Una notte a Calabria
Con la luna ed il mare
Ho incontrato un angelo
Che non poteva più volar
Una notte a Calabria
Delle stelle si scordò
E anche senza ali
In cielo mi portò

Con lui volando lontano dalla terra
Dimenticando le tristezze della sera
In paradiso, oltre le nuvole
Pazza d'amore come le lucciole

Quanto tempo può durare?
Quante notti da sognare?
Quante ore, quanti giorni
E carezze infinite
Quando ami da morire
Chiudi gli occhi e non pensare
Il tempo passa, l'amore scompare
E la danza finirà!

Una notte a Calabria
con la luna ed il mare
Ho incontrato un angelo
Che non poteva più volar

Una notte a Calabria
Delle stelle si scordò
E anche senza ali
In cielo mi portò

Tristemente tutto deve finire

Ma quando il cuore mi ha spezzato
Ed in cielo mi ha abbandonato
Adesso sulla terra son tornata
Mai più di amare mi sono rassegnata

Ma guardo su!

Quanto tempo può durare?
Quante notti da sognare?
Quante ore, quanti giorni
E carezze infinite?
Quando ami da morire
Chiudi gli occhi e non pensare
Il tempo passa, l'amore scompare
E la danza finirà!

Una notte a Calabria
Con la luna ed il mare
Ho incontrato un angelo
Che non poteva più volar
Una notte a Calabria
Delle stelle si scordò
E anche senza ali

In cielo mi portò

In cielo mi portò
In cielo mi portò
In cielo mi portò

Tjcort

Virtualsprite said...

OMG... that is too funny. I am so sorry, but I am laughing.

Canadian flake said...

omgggggggg I would have to admit I would have given up and ran after the first time..

so sorry this happened to you but at least it gave you great SOS material..

thanks for sharing.