Beerfest Version 2.Gross.1

Yeah you see it. The Kateastrophe counter is reset without the previous story even being told. And you'll notice a pattern to the title.

WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND BEER????? I DON'T EVEN DRINK BEER! I HATE BEER!!

Ahem.

The story.

SO, some background. At our show last week we had a fully stocked hospitality suite which included candy, snacks, soda and two six packs of beer. All of which were hardly touched due to our slightly slow show. SO, at the end of the show we decided that I would drive the leftover treats back to Phoenix so that we could all enjoy them and not let them go to waste. So I loaded up my trunk with anything that wouldn't melt and drove home. When I got home I took most of the stuff out of the "main cabin" of my car and forgot about the stuff in the trunk. Read: The twelve bottles of beer were in the trunk and a bottle of wine in the back seat.

So, yesterday, Matt says to me "your car smells like you got all boozed up and passed out in here. Do you think the beer leaked?"

"Nah" I responded. "There was an open bottle of wine in the car that I just took out this morning"

**note to self . . . OPEN BOTTLES OF BOOZE IN CAR . . . NOT GOOD! I am very new at this whole alcohol in the car thing**

So we left it at that.

This morning, I got in the car and it smelled like and entire frat house had gotten blitzed, passed out and then threw up in my car.

Beer . . . definitely spilled. Definitely. Definitely spilled.

So, I open the trunk and sure enough, four bottles of bud light had spilled through my entire trunk WITHOUT being opened or having a crack in the glass. Miracle? I think so. It's a stupid beerfest miracle.

I gathered the four miraculously spilled bottles of disgusting smelling Bud Light and put them in their little cardboard home. Then I grabbed the six pack of Fat Tire in it's little cardboard home and headed towards the garage to put them in there for the day until I could decide what to do with them.

I hadn't taken TWO STEPS when CRASH! SHATTER! SPLASH.

"S**T"

The bottom of the holder had given out due to it's wet nature (thanks to the STUPID BUD LIGHT) and the ENTIRE SIX PACK had shattered at my feet. All over my favorite jeans and brand new shoes. All over my car. All over my garage and driveway.

I would have kicked and screamed but there were tiny pieces of glass that had somehow found their way inside my shoe and I had to delicately prance into the house to rid myself of the glass shards, rinse out my pants and try to salvage the beautiful red leather of my shoes.

I realized I couldn't just leave it like that, seeing as how we're trying to sell our house and a beer spattered garage isn't exactly going to go over well with potential buyers. So after trying to clean myself up I had to proceed to cleaning the garage and driveway up. I had to use a broom and a shovel to gather the bits of glass and then get the hose to clean the entire mess up. Picture me, all dressed up and ready for work, in heels, SHOVELING BROKEN GLASS.

It was one of my finest moments and, needless to say, I was very late for work and I arrived smelling like a lush.