The Neverending Stooorrryyyy la la laaaaa la la laaaa la la laaaa

Weight gain and loss . . . the neverending stories of my LIFE.

Back in high school, lets just say I was chubby and still had quite a bit of baby fat on me. At about sixteen I all of a sudden started to slim out a bit . . . then I hit college where I was dancing about four hours a day, going to the gym about three times a week and had boundless energy and a kick-arse metabolism. I got even skinnier.

Then I got dumped by the guy I thought was the man of my dreams *pause for HYSTERICAL laughter* and I got even SKINNIER.

Then I graduated from college and got a little lazier, but still went to the gym, and I sort of evened out to about right . . . still pretty toned, still skinny and hot, but not TOO skinny. But I had to watch what I ate, big time. I am no longer blessed with a kick-ace metabolism, nor am I blessed with anything resembling "skinny genes."

Then I got married. and OH. MY. GOSH. did the pounds pack on. Oddly enough though, it wasn't being ON birth control that added the weight. I can trace my weight gain to about the DAY I decided to QUIT birth control due to the raging psychotic I became while on it.

Now I'm not fat and I know it, but I am uncomfortable in my own skin, and I HATE that. I walk around wondering if the people behind me are commenting on the hilarious way my butt cheeks bounce up and down when I walk . . . or laugh about the muffin tops that have magically appeared. I'm self concious ALL THE TIME. And those of you who know me well know that I am not a self concious person. Never ever have been.

So, after many mental and emotional breakdowns over the size of jeans I am forced to buy to fit my sausage thighs into . . . the healthy eating has begun again. But this time I HAVE to stick to it. For the sanity of myself and everyone around me.

So here's what I'm asking dear internet . . . all five of you who read me. I need healthy recipes. I need healthy "fast food" suggestions . . . I need weight loss tips. I need it all. Because I need to be able to shop at the stores I've shopped at for my whole life again. I need to NOT hear the words "ooh sorry, that's the biggest size we carry and management is even doing away with THAT size soon."

I want to walk into the Limited in six months, put on a pair of pants that fit in a size they DO still carry, then throw them on the floor, jump up and down on them and give them the finger.