Kateastrophe of the Week: 2

Beat up by a soda can . . .

So, about five years ago, I was driving from my job on the south end of Utah Valley to meet up with Jewels for lunch. I'm listening to music, chillin' . . . you know, what you do on a beautiful spring day.

Between songs I hear an odd noise . . . pssssssssssssssssssssssss . . .

"Are my tires going flat?" I wonder? No . . . it's coming from inside the car.

"What the crap is that??"

I start looking around madly, reaching blindly in the backseat to find the culprit.

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss . . . it's still going . . .

"Seriously!" I say out loud "WHAT IS THAT NOISE??"

I'm still reaching around in the garbage I keep in my back seat (I am not really known for keeping a clean car) and I find the culprit. A can of Diet Coke. Somehow it was punctured by one of the under-sear contraptions.

"AAAHHH" I scream as it sprays a fine mist of Diet Coke all over my face and upper body. I start panicking since I'm driving down the busiest road in my home town and it's lunch time and there's lots of traffic, and I can't see because I'm being squirted in the eye.

I quickly turn it around to avoid blinding myself further.

Bad freaking idea.

Now it's spraying my windshield, and I am, once again, unable to see.

Anyone watching this scenario unfold must have been laughing their butt off. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and myself and my entire car was being misted with cola.

Finally, thinking clearly for at least a second, I rolled down the window and held the can outside of the car so that it wasn't obstructing my vision anymore. I'm sure anyone driving next to me didn't appreciate it very much, but hey, I wasn't being blasted anymore!

I found a side road and pulled over, allowing the carbonation and fizz to finally subside so that the can was no longer a pressurized, blinding bomb. It's AMAZING how much carbonation is in one of those tiny cans! It "pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssted" for like ten minutes!

Finally, I got back in the car and sullenly drove to our chosen lunch location. Dejected, I got out of the car to face Julia, who had been waiting for me.

I didn't even have to say anything. All she saw was my wet face and hair and my favorite pink shirt, now permanently stained with what looked like airbrushed liquid poo.

Que uncontrollable laughter.