My Heroes

I have been feeling the "volunteer itch" for quite a while now. That feeling that my life is pretty freaking awesome and I should really be giving back to the community somehow. I just couldn't pick a cause. I feel strongly about many, but seem to have commitment issues.

Well, take THIS commitment issues. I found my cause.

I have started volunteering for the Carl T. Hayden VA Medical Center. There have been a lot of stories on the news lately about the awful treatment the Vets receive at the government hospitals, and they are notorious for horrible treatment, long lines, endless red tape, and frustrated patients. Luckily, the VA hospital in Phoenix has a better reputation than most, but they are still in desperate need of volunteers. So I got myself all fingerprinted and stuff, and I'm officially a VA Volunteer. Yipee!

I chose this as my cause for many reasons, but mostly in honor of my brother, Sean. About three weeks before 9/11, Sean decided to sign up for the Marine Reserves. His reasons for signing up had little to do with money or help with school, but were much more personal than that, and, for his sake, I will not share the details . . . let's just say he felt he had something to prove, and he thought the Marines were a good way to prove it. Once those airplanes hit those buildings that horrible morning, I realized that Sean would have his chance to "prove it" much sooner than any of us had originally thought.

He got "lucky" and was in boot camp when his unit was sent to Bosnia in early 2002, but not as lucky once the war in Iraq started. I remember distinctly the moment I heard war had been declared. I was running on a treadmill at the gym, and I had to stop and run to the bathroom to cry, because I knew my brother would be there soon.

Sean was deployed to Nasiriyah right around the time the hostage situation with Jessica Lynch was taking place. He was in the worst possible place at the worst possible time. He saw and experienced things I cannot even imagine. Luckily, Sean came home to us safe and unharmed. He dealt with things no twenty-one year old should ever have to experience, but he was in one piece and was, for the most part, fine.

Sean was one of the lucky ones, in many respects. He had a bad case of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and has had some problems with alcohol abuse and anger issues, but my brother is an amazing person. He recognized the symptoms and immediately sought help. He took advantage of every single option available to him to help him deal with life after the war. Sean was not ashamed to ask for help, to seek counseling and to talk to others who had experience similar things to help him deal with what had happened. My brother is a well adjusted, smart, wonderful man, and I am SO proud of him. He has consistently made the dean's list at his college and will be applying to law school this coming year.

As I said, he is one of the lucky ones. So many of the men and women who have been to war over the years don't know what is available to them. They don't know what to look for or won't admit their symptoms and seek help. They are confused by the lengthy and complicated processes involved to sign up for free medical care or counseling. They need more information.

This post is not about politics or they "whys" of the War in Iraq. Whether or not anyone agrees with what has happened over the past five years doesn't matter when it comes to the Veterans. They did what they were asked to do, what they signed up to do, and they are owed respect and all the help and support they can get to move on with their lives. My step-father was a Vietnam Veteran who was spit on and ridiculed when he got off the plane after surviving being buried alive in the jungle and digging himself out with a pocket knife and who knows what else while he was in service there. Too many people let the politics of the time cloud their judgment when it came to the treatment of the service men and women of that war. Luckily, it seems this country learned from their mistakes during that time and hasn't treated the Vets that way this time around. But they still aren't getting enough help they deserve, and politics have nothing to do with it. It has been the case forever, in war or peace time, during a Republican or Democratic Presidency. The Vets simply don't have enough help or information.

That is why I chose to volunteer. If I can help ONE person get the information and help they need to become well again after a horrible experience with war, I will have made a difference.

My very first assignment as a volunteer was helping out with a fair to help veterans of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan (which is called Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom or OIF/OEF) utilize all of the benefits available to them. This was an especially fitting assignment for me because I organize all of the trade shows for my office. I know how this stuff goes. I worked with Brenda, a great social worker in charge of the event for the past month or so making sure she had things semi-organized, since this was the first fair of it's kind in Arizona.

The event was today. The room was too small, the tables were too big. The vendors and organizations were a little bit irritated with the situation . . . but, and it's a big huge BUT, the Veterans who showed up were so grateful to have all those resources in one place, to be able to go through their huge list of questions and find the answers to almost every single one. Since it was the first fair, the turnout wasn't great, but one serviceman's wife summed it up when she said "When we got that invitation in the mail, it was the answer to so many prayers. We just didn't know what to do next!" Today, we made a difference.

It was an emotional day for me. I am older than most of these guys (there were only two women Vets there, so I'm just going to sort of generalize and talk about the guys. No disrespect to the ladies). They are just . . . babies! I saw my brother's face in each one of them. I saw them struggling to find the words to explain what they needed. I saw some of them trying to smile, but saw the pain in their eyes.

I had a long conversation with the head of security at the hospital He himself was a Vet and saw some pretty crazy things in his day. He said that he wished more of the Vets took advantage of programs such as TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). He kept thanking me for being there, for being willing to share my family's experiences with these guys so they would know they weren't alone.I kept telling him that there was no need to thank me. I hadn't done anything compared to what most of these guys had done. I was just there, helping people know which way to go.

I left feeling lifted and heavy, all at the same time. There were so many people who didn't show up . . . so many men and women who might be suffering in silence. I wish I could personally reach out to all of them and help them. I know I can't, but trust me, I am sure going to try.