Flashback: Bad, Bad Santa Dance

First of all, allow me to say that this page was taken from my scrapbook. And I tried to be a real scrapbooker, but as you can see, that didn't work out so much. I'm AWFUL at it.
Second of all . . . the picture. Sigh.

There I am in the middle on the back row in the GREEN SATIN DRESS WITH FLOWERS ON IT. And I did my own hair . . . if you look closely you can see that I missed a barrel curl there and it's waving at you.

There are so many stories involved in this picture . . . where to start . . .

The couple on the bottom right. That is Don Osmond, Jr. Yes people, he is the spawn of Donny Osmond and he was in my group for Christmas Dance ala 1996. I actually knew him well, he dated one of my best friends and we used to hang out at his house. (Donny Osmond, for the record, is one of the world's nicest guys, and a TOTAL cheese ball. But we all loved him. )

ANYWAY, back to the dance . . . Don's date is Stacy, and for some reason he presented her with that lovely candy cane full of . . . M&Ms? And yes folks, she's wearing a scarf. Loosly tied over her dress.

The back row there is what's the most interesting part of this picture. The guy with the goofy smile on the far right is a future rapist (I'll stop there) and left of me is my best friend Melinda. She's doing a very good job of smiling through the pain because her date? TOTAL MORON.

You'll need some background . . . on the planet I grew up in, date dances were much more than just the dance. We had to ask and answer each other in creative ways and we had day activities with our group. So let's just say that if you didn't like your date? You were in for a bad, bad day. With all of his or her friends. And it could possibly go on for 15 hours or so, because most people also planned something for AFTER the dance. Oh, and it was INCREDIBLY rude to say no. The first person who asked you was the person you went with. Those were the rules.

So to review, Melinda = not a fan of her date and she was stuck with him for many, many hours. My date and I (the jolly blonde) were very good buddies and we were just there having a good time.

Melinda was NOT HAPPY. That guy had been a total jackass ALL DAY LONG. We'd been there for each other through most of it, but dinner was a different story. My date had the money to go out for dinner. Melinda's date did not . . . neither did most of the group. So we split up for dinner. I went out and the rest of the group went to some one's house, where they had spaghetti and meatballs.

This was a bad idea for a myriad of reasons. First and foremost being that all the girls were dressed up and spaghetti is notoriously a MESSY MEAL. Secondly, Melinda did not eat red meat.

So, there she was, stuck in a room with a date she hated, her wing man enjoying a delicious fancy restaurant dinner, and she had meatballs in her food. And there was pretty much nothing else to eat but salad. So she ate salad. Then at some point, if I recall correctly, her dumb date dumped his plate of spaghetti in her lap.

Needless to say, by the time they showed up for the dance, she was more miserable than she'd been for most of the day. And that's saying something.
So, back to the picture and how this all ties together . . . if you'll notice there is a weird hand and arm configuration on the back row. At the request of Melinda, I brought up a FUN GAME! Let's all hold hands with SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES OUR DATE! Then the picture will be FUNNY!!!

As you can see, my plan worked and the picture is HILARIOUS. But for very different reasons.

The best of those reasons being the butt part that my bangs have got going on. That's hot.