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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Verbal Vomit v1

*Begin verbal vomit transmission*

What day is it? Tuesday? It's already the 11th of December?

HOLY CRAPOLY WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

*Shaking head, squinting eyes, trying to focus*

Yeah I have no idea what's going on with the time. I have NOTHING done for Christmas, no presents - not even a tree! Every time we plan time to go get one, it freaking rains on us. We live in Arizona, it's not SUPPOSED to rain. Sunshine all the time, especially in the winter, isn't that what the people who LURVE Arizona tout?(does that sentence even make sense???) Just FYI, those that tout beautiful, sunny winters appear to be liars. Because it's rained the majority of the last two weeks and I have an impromptu river and a three inch depression in my front yard to prove it. Oh, and my car has been dirted. Stupid rain.

Matt and I still haven't taken holiday photos and I'm waiting for the cards I ordered (WON! Yay!) to arrive, so, don't be mad if you get a holiday card from the Murphy's in June. That's how I seem to roll lately, assuming that's about the time I'll get my Christmas tree too. It will be Christmas in June, super-hot-120-degree style. Sweet.

Life continues to give me swats on the butt to keep me lively. I can't talk to much about details, but things at work are kind of crazy and up in the air. It's all pretty good stuff, just sort of unnerving and against my "change is bad" mentality.

Also, EVERYONE I KNOW is either pregnant or just had/is currently right at this moment having a baby. (OK that might be a bit of an over-exaggeration, but hi, my name is Kate. I over-exaggerate. Shoot me.)(Also, it's sad that exaggerate and Kate rhyme. Sad but typical.) Despite the peer pressure, and my co-worker Pete's insistence that I won't be allowed in the "Ha ha we have a baby and you don't" clique, I'm not having a baby because I just had a new car.

**Sidenote: HOW MUCH WOULD IT HURT TO BIRTH A NEW CAR?!?!?! End Sidenote**

Operation "Skinny Kate" has taken a hit this week, due to sugar cookies from WalMart. Yes, you heard me, I went to WalMart. Mostly because Matt needed stamps, but I found the cookie and rejoiced greatly. They are those super soft ones with the thick frosting -- do you know what I'm talking about? Ahghghghghg they are so tasty. However, the hit to my thighs is being handled because I'm still running and biking every other day, despite loud protestations from my butt bones and my hip. I biked ten miles on Saturday. It SUCKED and I sweat a lot (have I mentioned I hate sweating? Well, I do.) but I must admit it felt great to waddle off the bike and announce to Matt "HA! Ten miles conquered! *pause to hold on to his shoulder before gravity overtook my shaky body* Carry me to the car?"

*Apologize sincerely to readers. Verbal vomit ended*

15 comments:

Canadian flake said...

lmao ok I am not sure which of these declarations made me giggle more...lol

As far as all that rain...want me to send you some snow to go with it? We got lots to spare..lol.

I don't even wanna THINK about "birthin" a car.....ouchhhhhhhie

Thanks for the giggles!!!!

Anonymous said...

I used to say I wasn't having kids because I just had two puppies. And now, um, I want more puppies. And also babies.

:)

Anonymous said...

Time to switch to decaf for you, I think.

And you wouldn't be Kate if you didn't exaggerate. ExaggerKate. Oooh, exaggerkate. Sounds like something...uncouth (there's just no couth there). "I walked in on them exaggerkating. Again. Get a room!"

And I wrote a haiku about you and your troubles:

It's warm where you are
And you're driving a Beamer
So shut the hell up

I love poetry.

Jewels said...

HAHAHAHAHAA! You make me laugh so hard, your sharp little mind. I cannot wait to see you!

Wholly Burble said...

Oh my, the name certainly "captures" the energy of the post. LOL

I'm not sure if Einstein did a study or had a formula or not, but there IS a difference in the mathematical equation of time during the holiday season. It becomes warped--probably from all the mass sugar consumption on the planet, and all those pheromones being released at office parties.

The Ho-Hozone probably absorbs too much of the red dye in candy canes and the burn off from outdoor Christmas tree decorations, along with the sugar and pheromones, and voila, time warps.

The Gruwells said...

oh my gosh i just read bryan's post and i am crying! awesome.

Maddy said...

It's the time of year is all. We're all at sixes and sevens. Still one more December birthday to go and then I'll start thinking about Christmas.
Best wishes

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

Rhonda Can't Help You said...

1. I hate the rain- it sucks
2. that is not why I moved to AZ
3. I'm not pregnant

Feel better?

Sara said...

I love your rants Kate they warm my spirit!

HaLaine said...

AHAHHAHAHAHH! AHHAHHAHAHAH! AHAHHAHAHAH! Ok, Kate, just wanted to tell you that YOU CAN PUT A CAR SEAT OR TWO OR THREE IN THE BACK OF YOUR BMW!!! Didn't know if you realized that you DON"T HAVE TO HAVE A VAN to have children. Case in point, i SOLD my van. My THREE KIDS squash themselves in the back of my Maxima. Sooooooooooooo, just having a new car does not in ANY WAY keep you out of the Baby Club. HAHAHHAHA! HAHAHAH! Ok, MY word vomit is done.

Kateastrophe said...

Hannah darling, the size of my car has absolutely nada to do with the not wanting of children at the moment :D

Brillig said...

I like Bryan's haiku.

And I am neither pregnant nor birthing. To the best of my knowledge. Though, maybe it's kinda like the Monty Python movie where the lady has had so many children that she doesn't even notice anymore that she's popping babies out? All the while the song "Every Sperm Is Sacred" is being sung? PLEASE tell me that you know what I'm talking about here.

You are crazy, and I love you.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I remember that show Brillig. I seem to recall that it came on while we were watching TV, and YOU made us change it.

Though, to be fair, I think it was the part where the guy is being executed in the manner of his choosing, which was to be run down mercilously by a crowd of topless (and otherwise almost unclad) women.

Yeah, that was probably a good call. I mean, changing the channel. Not the guy's choice of execution. Although, uh, I'd take that over the chair.

As to the relationship between BMWs and babies...I think this only increases the chances. It's a sexy machine.

Plus think about it acronym-wise...BMW. There's good baby vibes here.

Baby Making Woman.

Breast Milk Wanted.

Big Momma Wants (I'm not sure what this means...).

Be (a) Mom Wednesday.

Be Makin' Whoopie (I've never liked that phrase).

Bust My Wallet.

Babies Made (in) Winter.

Bowel Movement W (it's best not to count how many times they've pooped in a given day. It can be exasperating. Just assign them a letter, so you're not exactly sure).

And the list goes on. As I would. Except:

Bryan Must (get back to) Work.

Girl, Dislocated said...

I've done nothing for Christmas either, but that's ok, because I'll be fleeing the country on Dec. 24th! :P

And I don't know where the time goes either, I'm still stuck in October...

Virtualsprite said...

I can relate. Nothing done, weather sucks, too much work.

I'll trade rain for below zero temperatures any day, though. :-)

Keep your chin up. It will get better.