Soap Opera Sunday! Installment Three of "Summer of Love and Hate"

Hi all! Here is "episode" three of Soap Opera Sunday: Summer of Love and Hate! If you are just tuning in and want to catch up, you can find episodes 1 and 2 here and here.

And now, the saga continues . . .

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Looking back I can’t believe how stupid I was. I’m embarrassed right now just thinking about it. My feelings were so out there. I was obvious in my adoration. He knew how I felt and he reciprocated, as far as I understood it. Yet it was all an act.

I started to notice weird things . . . Jason would ask if he could talk to Laine alone, they'd go on walks together, things like that. I’d start to get jealous and ask questions, and they’d both tell me it was nothing, that they were actually talking about me. I had this gut feeling I was being lied to, but I felt stupid asking again and again, so I just took their word for it and stopped asking, assuming I was just being paranoid.

So, in the middle of our excursion to California, Laine and I went back to Utah for a few days before we were to turn around to come back and drive with my family to a rented beach house in Ensenada, Mexico for a week. Stupid idiot that I was, I invited both Laine AND Jason. Because apparently I was BLIND. Laine had readily accepted and Jason was going to try to take work off to join us.

Back in Utah, I was ecstatic about the new boy in my life. I told all of my friends how wonderful he was and how excited I was that things seemed to be working. He and I talked on the phone every day, talked about how we couldn’t wait to see each other again soon. We’d never kissed, but I thought that was a good thing. I thought we were going slow and getting to know each other, and I was very excited.

As it turned out, Laine was telling the same stories I was . . . only hers involved making out with Jason behind my back, also talking to him on the phone but using the words “I love you” and other such things. My Mom actually caught her saying that to him on the phone one night and confronted her, but Laine blew it off and said they were just friends. I don’t know if my Mom bought it or not, but she didn’t say anything to me at the time. I think our other friends felt caught in the middle. Laine and her family were living far away during the time and we were all so happy to have her back with us, I don’t think they wanted to rock the boat. And I honestly don’t blame them. I am not really a "boat rocker" so I totally get it.

Now, I should mention that both Laine and I had met, hung out with and made out with other boys while on our California trip. I realize it was fickle and slighty stupid of me, claiming to like Jason as much as I did and running off to make out with other guys. I acknowledge my hypocrisy whole heartedly, however, I hadn’t kissed Jason and I definitely hadn’t told him I loved him.

Jason, unfortunately (haha, hindsight is 20/20 right?) was unable to come with us to Mexico, so Laine and I went together. We had a total blast. We swam with dolphins (seriously! Wild ones!) we sunbathed, went on adventures down the Baja coast, and mostly, we talked about our fun summer adventures, about the boys we had met and we talked a lot about Jason.

I remember one particular sunset walk with her on the beach talking about Jason and how great I thought he was. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I have some vague memories of her saying something about how summer, long distance romances never work . . . but never ever did she break down and tell me that something was going on between them. Never ever did she try to let me down or try to save my feelings or stop me from humiliating myself further.

Now, here is where the story turns sort of hazy for me. I know we came back from Mexico, spent some more time with Jason (and the other boys, fickle teenagers we were!), then went back to Utah, where Laine was going to spend a few more days with my family and our friends and then fly back to Texas to start her senior year of high school.

I know somewhere back in Utah I figured it all out (or was told. Honestly, I don't remember). I do remember even ten years later, the feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. This was supposedly my best friend and, according to my sixteen year old brain, the boy of my dreams. The boy who had asked me when we could finally be alone while making out with my supposed best friend, the friend who I’d invited into my family’s home . . . on our family vacation . . . to spend the whole summer reaping the benefits of my life and the advantages my family brought. And I'd loved having her there. It had been the best summer of my life. Until that horrible moment. I can't recall a moment in my life where I’ve never felt so betrayed or hurt.

The hurt that I felt it truly wasn't due to the fact that she and Jason liked each other. That fact I could live with. Heck, all the boys preferred Laine, I wouldn't have been one bit surprised. It would have stung a bit and hurt my ego, but I would have dealt with it and moved on. What I couldn't deal with being lied to so much.

I couldn't deal with how much of an idiot I must have looked like, practically throwing myself at this guy who was only acting like he liked me in return in order to salvage a few more minutes with my best friend. I felt used. I felt like my joyful, amazing summer had just been ripped away from me.

I decided never to speak with Jason again, but I waited to confront Laine. I didn’t want to make a scene. I didn’t want to ruin her visit for anyone else. I wanted it to be as painless as possible.

So I waited until I was driving her to the airport for her flight back to her home.

Again, the memories are a little hazy but I do have some vivid ones. I remember wanting to open the door of the car and shove her out. I remember hot tears streaming down my cheeks and I remember my voice shaking with anger and hurt as I told her to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. To tell me why she had spent the whole summer taking advantage of me and lying to me at the same time. I honestly don’t even remember what she said back. I don’t even want to venture a guess at what she said because I’m afraid my memory will betray me.

I know I confronted her about lying to me while bragging to our friends. I confronted her about lying to my Mom. Confronted her about the night I thought I saw them kissing and her lying to me about that. I brought up the fact that she’d had a million chances to do the right thing, to tell me the truth and to deal with whatever consequences might face her and I think I told her how I felt she took the cowards way out, that she just lied to save her own butt and be able to gloat that in the end, she got the guy and I didn’t. And I felt she was reveling in how good she’d been at tricking me, at how stupid I had been. It was all going on right under my nose and she’d gotten away with it. And I thought she was proud of herself and at that moment, whether or not I was correct in her gloating, I hated her for it.

I have so many bad memories of that day. I remember both of us yelling and me crying as we pulled into the airport. I remember stopping at the curb and Laine getting out, telling me to have a nice life and slamming the door, like it had all been my fault.

But most of all, I remember sobbing hysterically all the way home. Not because I’d lost the guy, not really even because I’d been lied to and made to look a fool. I sobbed because I had lost my best friend over a stupid guy.

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Whew, this one was the toughest part of the story and I'm glad it's over. Next week gets a little more lighthearted as I finish up the story and reveal my true inner "beotch!" (It wouldn't be a true soap opera without a little revenge, right?! Hahaha.)

Now, for my FAVORITE part of Soap Opera Sunday, the list of other participants! We've got some new players and some GREAT stories this week so be sure to check them all out!!

First and foremost, of course, my partner in SOS crime and BFF, Brillig

Temporary?Insanity

The Quiltmaker's Gift

Fourier Analyst

Summer's Nook

Magically Mama

Musings from a Muse

VirtualSprite

Novembrance

MiniVan Diva

a2eatwrite

Canadian Flake

Goofball's World

Keep checking back because we usually add two or three as Sunday and Monday get rolling.

If you want to play, we'd LOVE to have you, so make sure to send us (Brillig and I) your permalink and make sure to link back to us so people can find the whole soapy list! If you want a complete list of rules, please check here.

Once again, it's my bad that we don't have a button yet. My "talent" went and got herself checked into the hospital so . . . she's a jerk and I have to wait until she's healthy! JK. I'm hoping she gets better very soon. But until then we don't have a button. Sad.

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