Soap Opera Sunday: The beginning of the bad that lasts a VERY long time

So, um, I'm sort of lazy and pretty much a cheapskate. They didn't have wireless internet at my sister's house and I was having way too much fun to blog (gasp! I know!) and then wireless wasn't free at the airport. Sooooo, you're getting an incredibly late version of Soap Opera Sunday. Again. But at least on Sunday this time, right?

To catch up on my super long saga, you can go here, here, here, here, here and here. And don't even worry, we haven't even covered the first month of Richard's and my relationship yet!

Well, last week when we left off I had just been dumped on my birthday and Richard was being a douche AND we were on our way to my scary Dad's house.

I rented the car and we headed out to drive the two-ish hours to Lancaster, PA. Since the car was in my name, Richard wasn't supposed to drive it, I had to drive the whole time, and like the kind ex-boyfriend he was turning out to be, he slept the whole time. Oh and I got HORRIBLY lost. So our two hour drive turned into a four hour drive and I had no companion the entire time because he was snoring. Stellar.

When we arrived, my Dad was cooking dinner and before even saying hi he turns from the stove and shouts "Hey honey! Happy Birthday! Did you get drunk?"

"No Dad. Still Mormon. Still no drinking."

"Well did you get laid?"

"Nope. Still Mormon. Still no sex."

"What a f***ing waste of time!"

"Uhhh, Dad, this is Richard. Richard, my father in all his glory."

Things just went downhill from there (just when you think it can't get worse, right?). My stepmother wasn't home yet and Dad just set out to grill Richard. Why didn't he see his son? Was he going to church? Why didn't he go to church? Didn't he know that the girl he was dating took church very seriously? It went on and on and on and was making both Richard and I very uncomfortable. Especially considering our extremely recent break-up that I hadn't told anyone about yet.

Yikes.

We had an awkward family dinner and went downstairs to watch football, which was turning out to be the only thing Richard wanted to do. He, of course, left the room to talk on the phone several times, but we spent the rest of the day watching all the games. I was pretty tired and headed to bed, asking him to come talk to me for a while. I was going to get to the bottom of the recent dumping and find out what the crap was going on.

Our conversation was actually going really well until at some point in the conversation I asked him a question about his family. I don't remember what his response was exactly, but I remember he looked at me and called me Tiffany.

Tiffany was the Ex. The really recent Ex who I had just found out apparently had a problem with Richard and I being set up. The Ex who had sought out Adrienne (who had set us up) and asked her why she thought it was OK to set up HER boyfriend Richard with someone else. The boyfriend she had dumped. The Ex I already hated for trying to force Richard into going back to church before he was ready and who just seemed lame and pushy all the way around. And now he was apparently mistaking me for her. Then, within about fifteen minutes, he called me Tiff four or five times.

My feelings were very hurt. Once I could understand but FIVE TIMES? I was sort of at the end of my rope. With tears streaming down my face I asked him to leave the room and let me go to bed. We had a long drive back to New York the next day and were going to see The Lion King the next night. I needed to sleep and be away from him for a while.

The drive back sucked. We hardly said a word to each other and he made it very, very clear that he was mad that we were going to a musical when he just wanted to watch the College Football National Championship on TV. Too bad, said me, we had tickets and we were going. Final word on the issue.

Before the show, we were shopping near Rockefellar Plaza, I believe in the Banana Republic. I was across the room from Richard and he was on the phone with someone . . . and I had a feeling it was a girl because of the way he was talking. In my gut I knew who it was . . . I just KNEW, but I was hoping I was wrong.

Then, he did the most horrible, mean, stupid thing a guy has ever done to me.

He shouts, across the room "Hey Kate! What's your last name? Tiff wants to know, I guess she had a cousin who went to high school with you."

A. He didn't even remember MY LAST NAME
B. TIFF?????? ON THE PHONE WITH HIM? WHILE WE WERE ON VACATION IN NEW YORK TOGETHER??
C. Bastard

Ever notice how when the guy you like has some sort of "thing" with another girl you stupidly decide to hate the girl rather than the retard you're dating? Yeah, I did that. At that moment I decided I hated Tiffany with every last fiber of my being. HATED. HER. And would continue to do so for the next two years of my life.

That's right folks, you heard me. TWO. YEARS.

Told you this saga lasts forever.