Calm down, all of you who just got your panties in a bunch and prepared to go to fisticuffs with me over political issues. I'm talking about the Girl Scout Troops.
Yes folks, it's that time of year again. Time for Girl Scout Cookies. It's that time when every grocery store entrance and street corner to be flocked with tables of deliciously tempting Tagalongs, Thin Mints and Samoas. Time for those "select" parents to go out a-lobbying to make their daughter the top seller of the year while the child sits at home playing video games. (you know the psycho parents I'm talking about.)
The grocery store girls I can handle. I just pretend to talk on my cell phone and ignore their pleading puppy eyes (and their psychotic stalker mothers.) Avoiding I can totally do.
Want to know what I can't do? Thought so. What I can't do is avoid my bosses and co-workers. I'm pretty sure there are at least ten employees in my office with daughters/nieces who are Girl Scouts, and they are making themselves known. One gentleman has his sweet sounding little girl call each one of us individually with a rehearsed spiel conning all of us, ever so politely, to support her and buy some delicious girl scout cookies. Another co-worker has taped the order sheet AND a picture of his beautiful grinning daughter in her private school uniform onto the cupboard above the soda machine in the break room. Another woman is going around to each cube asking if we could find it in our hearts to buy some cookies from her daughter's needy troupe. Then there's my direct boss, who has apparently pimped herself out for her boyfriend's eight year old daughter, and when I told her I'd already ordered, she gave me this SAD look and begged me to buy just a few more. I'm with these people at least eight hours a day, and there's no way for me to pretend I'm too busy to acknowledge them for that ENTIRE time.
So, I become a complete and total sucker.
I CAN'T SAY NO TO THIS!!! I am a total pushover! I have signed up for at least one box from every person who's asked. I'm probably spending what I have left of my vacation savings on these damn cookies!!! AND, to top it all off, I still have four boxes of Thin Mints in my freezer from THREE YEARS AGO.
I'm cursing myself even as I write out the eight different checks. These little girls better remember this when they're in my shoes and I'M the one with the needy Girl Scout! Because I'm comin' for them!
26 comments:
I hear ya, I always have about 10 boxes of cookies.
I love girl scout cookies, especially the thin mints. I wouldn't be able to say no either, I'm a pushover when it comes to that sort of thing.
You blow at lying. No, you know what, don't! I'm not taking it back. C'mon Kate. Think.
-"I'm diabetic...today. It's a 24-hour thing. Maybe 48 hour...."
-"My mother choked on a Thin Mint, I just can't look at those boxes any more..." [use your drama skillz and eek out a tear--or at least cover your face and shudder]
-Blame your "damn" husband. He's the "empty chair" as they say among negotiators, so you can impute to him whatever anti-cookie tyranny you need to. Man, what a jerk!
-Cut them off with a "Hang on a second." Then slip passed them as if for something quick. But then leave the building.
-Fart. This isn't a lie, but(t) you see the potential here. Of course if you have to see them again on a regular basis, there could be some backfire (NPI). Avoid fartual harassment in the workplace.
Or you could try the truth, which like falsehood, is really a buffet of choices as well.
-"Hey. Mommy. Look, I'm in the middle of trying to get into full-on, hardcore good shape. I'm challenged on every side with all manner of advertisements for confections, brightly lit dessert cases, the oh-so-wonderful aroma of grilling goodness which assaults you in parking lots that also happen to contain good restaurants.... So seriously, the last thing I need is these irresponsibly uber-caloric cookies under my nose. But I'll give you 2 bucks to go away. That's free money for shutting up.
-And then there's the bottom line: "No, I don't want to give you my money. I think your daughter will be ok. The picture is lovely."
I'm just saying.
I adore Girl Scout cookies, and I haven't received a single solicitation this year. I'm heartbroken! Where are my Thin Mint dealers!
True story: I thought girl scouts were fictional until I moved to the suburbs.
i would use the excuse: i'm allergic to gluten. that way you can be suckered into cookies since you can't eat them.
i vow to never be a parent like that!
Ugg, the thing that kills me is the timing. January is when most people are still going strong on their resolutions. If they waited until at least March or April they'd have much better business. I'm just saying.
ps. I tagged you for a meme thingy.
I miss Girl Scout cookies with every fiber of my being. STUPID GLUTEN INTOLERANCE.
:)
Have a great weekend!
hhahahhahahah! HAHAHAHHAH!HAHHAHAH!!
I used to lead girl guides and I don't miss cookie season at all. I used to buy a case of cookies for Beaker, and after I ate my box ("no, really honey, a case is only 11 boxes"), I'd feel sick for weeks.
There's a reason Beaker gained so much weight when I was pregnant!
For what it's worth, I think girl scout cookies would be harder to avoid because there's so many different flavours. I remember being accosted in Seattle once, and the girls had this funny cookie that was a ring, dipped in caramel, rolled in coconut and drizzled with chocolate. Completely freaking addictive. And now you can get them in the no-name brand at one of our local stores. I don't know if I'll ever be able to shop there again.
Anyhow... the point? I empathize.
It really is way to hard to turn down some cookies, they're just so good.
I used to go door to door in my neighborhood. I was never the top seller, because my dad would never go and sell them for me, but I always held my own. :-) Try and say no to a girl scout at your front door. When you least expect it!!
I think most of us are suckers when it comes to those cookies.... LOL Good Luck ! (((HUGS)))
i'm a sucker for girl scout cookies. they are just so good. but it seems like every year they get more expensive. what are they, $6 a box now?
I am from Texas. We used to see cars with like 5 or 6 of those "I Support the Troops" magnet.
First - I love Bryan. Second - I believe that is the 2nd time Hannah has commented only with laughter. And Third? I have yet to be bombarded with cookie purchase requests, so I'll but some boxes off you - then everybody wins! And we both get fatter...awesome.
But you know those cookies are amazing! You can send a box my way!
mmmmm... GS cookies... if you have too many, I can take some off your hands!
lmao I have got a great technique down now....I explain that my gremlin has hyperactivity and I am a diabetic..then tell them that I will be happy to buy the cookies if they want to take care of me when I murder my hyperactive son then slip into a diabetic coma...
but that's just me..lol
Oh man, I'm jealous. I WISH I had an opportunity to buy Girl Scout cookies, but I don't know any Girl Scouts. Damn, now I'm craving some Thin Mints.
I don't understand. you've had thin mints in your freezer for 3 years and you haven't eaten them? what are you some kind of psycho? those things would have been in my mouth by the end of week 2. I'm so confused.
Let's see - so far this year I have ordered 5 boxes - yes I did say 5. Sheesh! Thankfully no one is pushing them at my office - going cube to cube would be a big no-no. But they do have them in the break room and hanging in their cubes. I bought from one and then felt I should spread the love! LOL Spread my ass more like it.
Aw I'd kill for some Girl Scout Cookies right now! I live in Italy and as good as biscotti are, they're just not thin mints ;)
Okay, we don't have Girl Scout cookies here in the Netherlands. I don't even think they have them in the UK. So I am having a hard time getting sympathy up for this one when I am battling homesickness and a serious craving for Thin mints. Cna you find these things on ebay?...
It's rather like drugs, you just have to say NO. If you cave on even one kid, you end up supporting the entire school district. And I've got a granddaughter just coming into her own--I will need a loan to support the troops this year here in our neighborhood.
Saturday morning, we saw one's mom driving her door-to-door down our street. We were drinking coffee in our PJ's with no chilins in the house so when they rang our bell, we let it go. Then they rang again. And again. Then THEY WALKED OUT INTO MY SNOW-FILLED YARD TO LOOK THROUGH MY WINDOW. THAT is psycho cookie selling!
When they do manage to catch me for any kind of fundraiser, I say, "I've got two sisters in girl scouts, a nephew in boy scouts, two kids at the elemenatary school and siblings at the middle school and high school, I've got a neighbor at the Christian school and have a project of my own going on." Not all of it is true, and obvs I edit it to pertain, but MAN! I made a deal with Mike that neither of us were to buy ANYTHING from our co-workers. They don't buy stuff for MY kids fundraisers nor do they sponsor our family for WalkAmerica. We don't owe them anything. But it's just a lot nicer to say you have someone special you have to buy from.
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