Ahhh Soap Opera Sunday. Thanks so much to Abish for hosting this week! Want to know more about SOS? Click here for a description and rules! Brillig and I would love to have you play along if you've got any Soapy tales you'd like to share!
My story is a very long one, so if you need to play catch up, you'll need an hour and the following links:
Ready for more??
I should have seen it coming. I should have listened to all the stories about how many times he got together and broke up with the mother of his son (even when she was ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE!). I should have listened to stories of all the other girlfriends he'd had and how it was impossible for him to commit and be faithful. I thought I was different. I thought we were meant to be.
The fact that it was TIFFANY’s voice on that message made it all the harder because I had decided to hate her with all my soul already. Had it been another girl it would have sucked, but thinking that he chose Tiffany over me made me want to run both of them over with my car.
I can’t remember the exact conversation I had with Richard, but I remember asking him if he was, in fact, going to marry her. He said something along the cop-out lines of she sort of thought so and he was going along with it. I told him not to call me anymore. He didn’t even apologize.
I lost another 10-15 pounds in just a few weeks. I would wake up every morning and for a brief second, I’d be happy to face my day, and then the reality of what had happened to me would backhand me in the face and I’d start crying all over again. The depression of the previous break-up was nothing compared to this. I’d let myself hope again and the result had been even worse for me. I was depressed. I didn’t know who I was. My normal, bubbly personality was gone. I was quiet, resigned, anorexic looking and went about my days like a robot performing it’s programmed tasks. It got to the point that my Mom suggested I get a prescription for an anti-depressant. I was hesitant because I didn’t want to walk around medicated, but I knew I had to do something. I was absolutely miserable. So I went to a doctor and got me some pills.
Within two days, the clouds parted and the sunshine seemed to appear again. I started to feel HUMAN again. I was able to eat, smile, laugh and find joy in my life. I was a senior in college, halfway through my FINAL semester and I was finally back to being excited to graduate, to finish school and possibly go to New York and audition for Broadway or find whatever path my life needed to be on. I was finally excited to be alive again. And naturally, in my life, when you felt normal, you wanted BOYS. So, I went looking and in no time at all, I met a boy named Matt.
To be continued . . .